Letter to myself:
Dear Sex Addict,
I freaking hate you! You have been a part of my life since I was in 5th grade and I you’ve done nothing but hurt me. I don’t know why I still put up with your lies. You promise me joy and fulfillment, but you never give it to me! You just leave me hurt and alone. You make me feel terrible about myself and you just leave me feeling disgusting. You’ve made me give up on so many things in my life! You’ve cause me to hurt every girl I have ever had any type of relationship with. You made me use girls in ways I never wanted to. You kept me from the freedom that God created for me. You have caused me to damage the future relationship I am going to have with me wife. You made me give my virginity to a girl that it didn’t belong to! You made me give the one thing I was suppose to save for my wife. You made me use multiple girls and leave them feeling pathetic. You caused me to turn to drugs and alcohol. You kept me from going to church. You have literally made me hurt Madison more than I ever imagined I was capable of. You have made me hurt so many people and left me feeling like crap! Thanks to you I have been depressed, failed college classes, felt hopeless and unworthy of anything, Yet for some reason I have a love for you still. I always run back to you no matter how many times I say i’m not going to. I always say that I won’t come back, but I can’t ever get away from you! I want you to know that I hate you more than anything. The joy and fulness you offer me isn’t real and I realize that now. You are always going to continue to lie to me and promise things that are not real. You don’t care about me at all. You have never done anything that has helped me. You are the root of all my problems. I want you to know that tomorrow I turn 24 and you are no longer going to be a part of my life. I have lived your shit for far to long now and I cant it any longer. I have put up with and fed you as much as I could for over half of my life but it is stopping once and for all. I am going to make sure that I never listen to you again. You’re the devil and I hate you so freaking much!!! From now on I’m going to set myself up for success and not give up. I am not going to fall your tricks and lies anymore. I know everything you have to offer and its never worth it.
I am going to tell my friends everything. I am giving them access to block the internet on my phone unless its through a website that blocks porn. I am going to set up a weekly meeting with someone from the college to talk about my addiction and struggles. I am also going to start crossfit to develop discipline. I am going to memorize scripture to help me fight against you.
You don’t have control over my life anymore. Jesus died for all of my sins and lives inside of me now, He has already defeated you for me, All I have to do is walk in victory because from now on there is nothing you can do to me. We’re through. I no longer have to constantly try to fill your wants. Stay out of my life! I don’t want anything to ever do with you again, Your freaking disgusting. I hate you.
Letter from my sex addict:
You suck. It’s funny that you think you don’t need me anymore. I’ve made you into the person that you are and now you think you can just walk away from me. You know you need more than I need you. You wont last at all with out me. I heard your doing a 30 Day challenge…. Really? you the longest you’ve ever gone with out me is 10 days and you half assed that. Good luck getting rid of me. You know when that craving I bring comes up next time you’re just going to give again like you always do. Your pathetic that you think you can get away from me. You need me. You love me. You won’t ever be able to get away from me. And just for trying to get away, next time I come after you I’m going to make sure that I crush you worse than ever before and leaving feeling emptier than you ever have!
Your Sex Addict