Letter to myself:
Letter to myself as a sex addict:
I have never written this out before and can already feel this as a helpful step. I have never sought out help before until now. just taking this step makes me feel like i am doing something positive to get free. Why are you like this? i have to think back to my childhood and see the rejection by my father of me and my hatred of him as the cause. Growing up I did not like my father. He was gone alot and when he was home he was not there emotionally. he was cruel to my sister who later died of alcoholism. I vividly remember the night was was going upstairs to ‘punish” my sister. I told my grandfather who whet to stop him. I was hiding behind the couch and he saw me while fixing a drink. He looked straight at me and said” if you do that again , I will KILL you”. not a nice think for a 8 year old kid to be told by their father.
I believe this is one reason i am so messed up and sex addicted. I was looking for love from my Dad.
so here i am a sex adddict and wanting to be free. I am free in Christ and I know he is stronger than my addiction. I do not have to live like this any longer. I do not have to take orders from my addiction. i give it orders. i love my wife and kids and job. this addiction has numbed me and made me isolated from life. i want to get this back. I want to feel and live again. And I WILL. I am and will be victoriour over this sin. Though Christ i can over come!!
Letter from my sex addict:
you think you can win over me? you go out in public and you get see someone that sets your mind in motion. TV, internet, everywhere you turn there will be temptation and I’ll drive you back to the Internet to find satisfaction. I will mask you pain so you don’t have to feel anymore. I will make you sexually satisfied. you cannot run you cannot hide you will be mine. running is futile. You fear you cannot stop and this will ruin your life. well your right it will and I will watch make it happen