Letter to myself:

I know you. Who you are, how you feel. I know everything. I know you’re struggling, crying every night because you did it again. Watching porn, masturbate, cry while asking for God’s mercy. Ï know you tried and then stopped praying because of this. How could you come in the presence of God being like this ?

Well let me tell you that I won’t give up. You may feel shameful but Jesus took the shame. You may feel guilty but He took the guilt when He died on the cross. I want you to know that God sees through your sin, I want you to know that He gave you His strength. I know you’re crying right now, but be strong. You’ll overcome this. You’ll succeed in the ministry. This is between you, God and I. I took His hand, but I am you. I know you were afraid so I took His hand for you. And I won’t let it slip.

I won’t give up. Don’t give. I won’t go back because He saved me, you. Let’s show Him how much you love Him. Don’t give up.

Letter from my sex addict:

I’m scared. I’m broken. I feel hopeless. When will it stop ? I tried to stop, so many time, but it came back full force. I’m even over thinking about it you know ? It doesn’t cross my mind during all day. During weeks, months. And then it comes again. I know my God is disapointed in me. I feel like asking for His mercy is useless. But you know what ? I’m fed up with this. I have the Holy Spirit in me ! I want it to stop. I can’t even bring myself to praise my Lord, to worship him, to pray. I don’t want to go away again. I’ll try. And I’ll succeed.