Dear Sex Addict,

You have controlled my life for several years now. There have been countless times that I’ve declared freedom and have said that you are done controlling me, however whether that freedom is a month, a week, a day or even just a few hours….you have come back again and again. I am sick of you. I don’t understand why you exist and why you have been winning for so long. I know that you can be abolished. I have heard countless testimonies that tell me that exact thing. However, in my life, you have continualously come back and controlled my thoughts when I’m alone at the silliest times. After I masturbate, I how I didn’t want to do that. I’m even to the point now that when I am looking at porn I realize that I’m not thinking clearly and that I’m being controlled by you. I don’t want to be controlled by you any more. I want my life to be controlled by God and I want to follow Him and obey Him with my whole life, but oftentimes you are exactly what stands in the way of me doing just that.

I am sick of you. 8/20/12 us the day that I thought it was all over. And I’m not ready to buy into the fact that that day wasn’t all Jesus. However, the truth of the matter is that I have sinned sexually likely over 100 times since that night at the leadership retreat. You need to go away once and for all. I want to be obedient to God. I want to be holy and pure. I want to be a wholesome Godly man. I want to follow the call to be a pastor. I want to marry a beautiful woman and be ferociously committed to her. I want to have children and I want to be a man that they can respect and look up to. I want to be the leader I am in public when I’m alone. And to fulfill all of those things, you must be forever defeated. I hope that this 30 day challenge will be a terrific help to killing you once and for all.

It can be done. I do believe.