Letter to myself:

To the Sex Addict

It’s over, all the late nights, hours spent alone with you, hiding to spend time with you. It’s over, all the lies and secrets, I’m done . I am tired, I’m tired of saying I can handle this , I can’t . I need help , I need to step up and end this. You have cost me the trust of my wife, I thought I could control you but I found out that the one in control is you ! I’m not sure when exactly that happened but I see it now, you have been guiding me down this dark road that has no good end. I’m done sitting back and letting you be in control. I have let this happen, I have let you put my marriage in danger, I have let you put me in a position of weakness, of fear that someone will find out what I really am…a person that is addicted to porn, a person who cares more about their own pleasure than anything else. I have become a liar , I have become what I despise, I never saw it coming. It is here and I am right in the middle of it. I’ve always been able to handle things on my own , or at least I thought I could . I need God, I want God, I want to be the man God wants me to be, I want to be the man I know I can be, I want to be the man my wife thought she married, I want to be the man my kids think I am. I want to be all those things and in order for that to happen it must be over. Your time has come, you are over, the time I spent, the time I wasted is over. That life is over. You have cost me more than I could have ever imagined, you nearly cost me the love of my wife. You will not cost me anymore. You are done , it is over.

A Free Man

Letter from my sex addict:

To the Fool aka The Free Man

Really, you think it’s over, no way, you are a weak coward that will always come crawling back to me. You will come back because you can’t handle the reality of your just not good enough. You will never win this fight, I will always be here, I will always make you feel better, I will never judge, never control , never tell you no , never reject you . I will forever be here for you and your pleasure. You don’t even know what life is like without me, I have been with you for so long that you can’t deal with things without me. I know it’s not over. You think you can beat me, you may Fodor a while , but you will come back , you always come back. So it’s not good bye, it’s see you later, because I’ll see you , probably sooner than later.

Your Buddy