Dear Sex Addict,
You have been in control for as long as I can remember. You have made me believe intimacy is made for myself. You have lied and said that you could fill this God hole. You are empty. Porn is empty. Masturbation is empty. You have “been there” for me in times of trouble but really were just a coping mechanism from my loneliness. You have deprived me of my innocents and childhood.
But, guess what? YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WIN THIS TIME. The God of the Universe, my daddy, is going to help me win this battle. I’ve learned that my own strength to fight won’t help but with Jesus– you don’t stand a chance. No longer am I defined by my mistakes and failures and feelings of worthlessness; I am defined as a HOLY, REDEEMED, DAUGHTER OF CHRIST. You don’t have control over me, GOD DOES. He says that he will provide a way out and that sin will have no dominion over me. You’re going to lose.
I’m surrendering my addiction to Jesus. This means knowing:
-I am loveable.
-I am worthy.
-I am redeemed.
-God accepts me even with my mistakes.
-Jesus LOVES me and nothing I can do changes that.
You have been a way for me to feel loved. But now, since I have Jesus– I DON’T NEED YOU; Jesus is enough.
I’m going to fight this with Jesus by:
-finding and memorizing scriptures
-talking to Jesus daily
-being COMPLETELY honest with my mentor, best friend, and others. If I do end up lying, admitting my lie and telling the truth
-seeing a therapist
-healing the broken relationships in my life
Since I was little, you have deceived me as to what love is. I was searching for intimacy because my parents were never there. You used to be my source of acceptance and love but now I see– you are no more than an empty lie. This is going to be difficult. This is going to be hard. But, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I will not loose focus on God’s thoughts and promises toward me.
THIS IS WHERE THE HEALING BEGINS.
-a wounded, hopeful, daughter of Christ