Letter to myself:
You have been doing this for 9 years now. During this period there were times where you let me think it was over, that I had it covered. I tried to control and help you in my own strength, but realized I can’t. I want to help you in my own strength, to keep it hidden, to save face, to keep my pride, but that’s not going to work.
God’s strength is truth and it is the ONLY way, the only power strong enough to stop you causing more damage. What you do is disgusting and just adds to the confusion you have. If you keep going this way you are just going to keep alienating yourself and questions how God is working in your life. You won’t be able to sustain a relationship with this addiction. Your future wife deserves better.
I want you to do the following:
1. Commit to putting on the armor of God daily Ephesians 6:10-11
– Read the word. The sword of the spirit. The truth can be found there. Consistency and faith will be developed there.
– Seek professional help, someone to help with processing. Someone thats not close to the issue, an outsiders perspective.
– Prayer meeting – get amongst it. Fortnightly/Weekly. make it work!
– Communicate with a friend the struggles, ask if they will help you stay accountable.
– Continue to read Hero, becoming the man she desires.
I believe in you, I believe you can do this, alongside God. God has so much planned for you, God has already won you just need to use that!
Letter from my sex addict:
You won’t, you can’t. You don’t even know which way is up. You wont seek help and that’s where I will get you! You know you can’t do this on your own but are too prideful to do anything about it!
This addiction just adds to how messed up you are! You are lazy, uncommitted and inconsistent. You want help but fear controls you. Fear of what others think, fear of them finding out that mostly it’s homoerotic. You don’t want to hurt others, but I’ve convinced you that you can get away with it. I have for 9 years.