Dear Sex Addict,
I’m done with you! So what if my father watched porn in our house as we were sleeping! So what if you got curious and lead me to what you enjoy! SO WHAT! What he did doesn’t effect me anymore, he’s no longer part of my life to even bring that back into my house, and your next! I know I’ve said I would stop before and over and over and over and over, but I am so tired now! I look at my little brother and it makes me worry everyday if he will make the same mistake I made, which was following you. I love him more than anything and I can’t let you get to him the way you did me. I don’t know how to stop, which is true, but every time I make the mistake of following you, God keeps calling me back into his arms to heal the pain! I know sometimes it feels like God doesn’t hear me because I’ve been battling this for so long, but this time instead of blaming him, I’m going to stand up again you once and for all! You may have him and you may of try to keep Kyle, but we will stand against you! No more will I cry and feel sorry for myself because of you, no more will I yearn for self-comfort, no more will run from my responsibilities! I have to stop being afraid of this change, I have to stop thinking that in the end I’ll go back to you because I will not be a burden on my mother or to myself anymore! I don’t know why you stuck around as long as you did, but believe me that once I find out why you are here, your going to leave before my 17th birthday! You want to know why?! Because has a purpose for me, he always did! He knows my heart and knows that I’m scared, but that’s ok! He is always with me and even as I’m writing this letter to you, he is helping me release the pain in my heart. What my father did to my family was wrong, but it was my choice to join you! However, I forgive him because he is struggling even harder than I am and I don’t know where you are going to lead him. However, I know that is not the life I will choose for myself!
Because I am beautiful
Because I am strong
Because I am intelligent
Because I can do all things through Christ
Because I know that God is with me at all times
Because my mother will love me not matter what
Because Malik will not have the same fait
Because as long as I live, I won’t let you back into my family
And because I truly believe in myself, once and for all!
I ask God for his forgiveness, I don’t care if he’s heard the same words from me over and over again… this time its all his. You are in his hands, my flesh is in his hands, the comfort I needed from you is in his hands, the love that I didn’t get from my father is in his hands, every tear that I have cried because of you is in his hands, and every fear that I continue to ponder in my mind IS IN HIS HANDS!
As of now I wipe my hands from you, I don’t need your false imaginations to keep me busy, I don’t need you to tell me how my future will be with my husband, and I don’t need you to call me a Failure anymore!
I am a winner, I will succeed, I am an overachiever, and God is my rock!
Good Bye Loser,
Find someone else to mess with!