Letter to myself:
Hey bro,
I know you’ve thought a lot about this and I’m so glad you’re tired of going back to the nothingness you once knew. I’m so glad that you want to be free. You’ve started on the journey but I know you’re not done yet. I know you think you’ve failed, multiple times, but there is hope.
I want to encourage you to put on the mind of Christ He perfectly obeyed God and he wants to give that perfect life to you. No more wondering how long you can go without crawling back, no more wondering if you’re strong enough. I’m not asking you to be strong. I’m asking you to accept the One who was strong. He stood up to the most intense temptations ever faced by man and he didn’t yield. Now he wants that same kind of resolve to be in you. It’s His gift to you. Download it to your brain everyday. Let it overwrite the corrupt software that if unchecked, will grow like a virus. Tell others about how you’re experiencing freedom and praise Him daily for giving you freedom.
You’re making progress and you’re not alone. God is still with you every step of the way. He’ll even send others to help you. But be careful and guard yourself from those things that can creep in like your mobile (get an old fashion alarm clock dude) and movies. Those things just leave you empty. Go to good and he will fill you up with peace. God is in control and you’ve given Him permission to work in your life, now continue to trust that He will if you continue to let Him. He doesn’t want to see you fail and he’s there to provide the way out.
Lastly, remember that poem you wrote a few years ago? Good stuff. It’s still true today.
In Him,
Someone who loves you
—Lust—
What’s the goal of lust?
To pursue the rush
Euphoria or bust,
It’ll only leave you crushed
Unholy desire,
Has to feed the fire
Making us all liars,
Hypocrites for hire
Satan’s false fire feeds like a casino
Your pride is the prize he needs to fuel his ego
You’re engaged, to the page and so you practice
What you see on the screen, now the religion of the masses
Want what you can’t have so you can get what you think you need
Like Christ on the Cross are you ready to bleed?
To pour out your soul for the object you adore
Will it ever be enough if you only want more
When love was made a man, He fell into our hands
and it came to pass what was paid in advance
The object of his prize, To look into our eyes
Quench our fails and tries, shatter this disguise
Now forbidden but not for long
Full communion with our Triune God
On that wedding day, we’ll know we belong
But only when we sing the Lamb’s song
It’s not how you feel but what he has done
And though we are tired he gives us strength to run
Despite our inability to finish all we have begun
We trust in one, Jesus the son.
Respect the context and reject the concept
That the only object is what you can accomplish
Have you ever processed the only project
It’s not the contest but Christ’s predetermined conquest
Letter from my sex addict:
WHAT? You think you can just get rid of me? It’s been, what, 15 years since I first poisoned you? HA. Man did I play you. You thought it would bring relief. Nothing has changed. But here I am. You’re scared because I’m just around the corner. I know you’ll be all alone if you somehow manage to get rid of me, like that’s ever going to happen. Best of all, you thought it started when you first got a taste. No way boy, I was there since you were born, not only that but with your father and his father and forever. What a nice gift they gave you right?
I don’t know what you see in Jesus and his so called followers. Empty promises, just like the one’s you’ve made about getting rid of me. They’re just going to leave you and you’ll be coming back to me to fill right up again. No way. I’m gonna suck you dry and take all the joy you thought you had. What ever progress you think you can make I’ll steal too. I’ll take it all.
with misery and deceit,
Your Addict