Letter to myself:

Letter to myself. You think you can control it, but it has control of you. You think about it every day. How could you? You have a fiancé! You are getting married! God has given you the woman you have always prayed for, yet you lust after others. Whether on the internet or in your mind, there is no greater definition of betrayal and backstabbing. You tell yourself that today is the day that it will all end. You tell yourself that you have it under control and that everything will be all ok in your own power. You tell yourself that nobody struggles like you do and that nobody will ever be able to understand. Or worse, they will tell your fiancé and then it would ruin everything. These are lies out of the pit of hell itself. You seek God and get into His Word. You know that He is in control and has brought you so far in life. You have traveled the world and shared to others the incredible work that God has done in your life, yet you continue to fall victim to the sins, lusts, and temptations of your flesh. Your eyes are weak and your mind is weaker. You need to stop fighting the battle on your own and stop trying to win the war that Christ has already won. Trust in Him and live everyday with all that you have. When the temptation arrives, flee from it. When the desire to surf the internet, watch that movie, or look on that website arises, fall into the arms of Christ. Worship God, not the body. This has gone far enough. You have struggled with this for years and years. Middle school, high school, and college. When is this going to end? The images of women who will never satisfy you are like hooks that have latched onto your mind. They will never reject you, yet they exists as perverse images and memories that have latched onto you. They are a drug that offers temporary warmth, pleasure, and happiness. But the moment it is accessed and the pleasure ends, the guilt mounts up and you feel like nothing in the world will ever forgive you. You declare that you will get right, only to fall once again. You are wounded. You are hurting. In your heart, you know that you are hurting the ones you love. You know that unless this ends, it will continue into your marriage. You are terrified at the possibility of wanting to see images of other women more than being with your wife, but you know the possibility is one that happens to so many men who have been latched by the hooks of porn, wicked lusts, and other filth in movies. You want this to end. The time is now. Trust in the One who set you free by giving His life for you. Christ took the punishment, shame, guilt, and price for such sins. You are made new in Him. Latch onto Christ, and the freedom found in Him. You have tried everything else and are tired of all the failures. Christ’s love and mercy never fails.

Letter from my sex addict:

I am ready for this to end. As a young man who is going to have a wife in four months, my addictions are not going to go away if I keep trying to save myself from myself. Jesus is the great healer and is my only hope in this fight. I have failed in this area of life and am willing and ready to get serious about changing. For my sake. For the sake of my future wife. For the sake of my future kids. For the sake of my career as a missionary. I am filthy and am ready to be made clean. It won’t be easy and I am going to be scarred along the way. The monsters aren’t going to go away easily, but our God is greater and so much more fulfilling than this life of lust.