Letter to myself:

It’s been a long time you started struggling with porn. Yours began on a particular day your cousin used your laptop to view porn and some pages were still opened when he slept off and you walked into the room.

It has brought you so much shame and loss of self-esteem. You thought if you got married, it would stop. You even confided in your wife (then fiancee) and she understood and forgave you. Now, she has no idea that you are still watching porn. You are afraid of telling her because you don’t know how she would react to know that after 5 years, you are still struggling with porn. To her you are the best of husbands, and you both teach sunday school.

You have surrendered to Jesus nearly a million times, and went back to it in a few hours to a few days. Since 2010, you cannot boast of staying away from porn for 21 straight days. You have lost your esteem. Let go of your fears and put your hands in the hands of the Lord, so He can lead you.

Letter from my sex addict:

It’s hard, my dear. You know how each time I view porn, I cry to the Lord, but find myself on such sites again. I don’t know what to do. It seems the Lord cannot help me. He wants me to be disciplined. I have tried everything, and I mean everything. And yet, I get more disappointed each time I see myself watching porn. I have disabled my Facebook account and other social media outlets, but that seems worse, because I then discovered gross porn websites.
I pray the Lord will help me deal with this once and for all. if I’m able to stay through this entire 30 days, then I will know that my salvation is nearer.