Letter to myself:
It shouldn’t have come down to this. It shouldn’t have been at the point to where either your marriage or career could go down the drain, but it did. God knows the things that will break us and change us and you need to just be thankful for the situation. Of course it sucks! But think about ever picture/video that you downloaded and looked at because you know in your mind in that moment that it was wrong and not something someone who carries the name “Christian” should be doing. Don’t get me wrong. We all struggle, but you’ve playing the grace card for way too long. It sucks though, why did it have to come to this? Why couldn’t you have fixed this when you were in Kuwait and you couldn’t look at it then? Why couldn’t you have fixed this before marriage? None of these questions matter anymore. Because Samuel the next couple of days are not going to be easy! You are going to have to do everything that you can to stop yourself from making these poor decisions. Before making a decision you better think about the impact to your relationship with Christ, to your relationship with your family, and the effect it can have on your career. You are blessed to be married to such a good woman that she cares so much and is willing to help you out. So instead take this chance, moment, second, and take advantage of it to get better. There are tons of resources available to you and I know you won’t fall back. 30 days from now you’ll look back and see it all and thinking “Man, as hard as it was, it feels so good to be set free.” That Samuel is what you must do with each day you make it, you’re being more successful and strengthening yourself. Your relationship with Christ will strengthen, your relationship with your family will strengthen, and you won’t have any career worries. You can live a life transformed and completely porn free! Much love and respect always,
Letter from my sex addict:
Thanks for the encouragement, thanks for the good words. It’s not going to be easy. These images are ingrained in my mind. I can see them right now and have this burning desire to look at them, but I’m thankful that they’re no longer in a location for me to look at that they have been completely destroyed. I guess from this point on it’s all a matter of choice of what I simply do. I’m ready for this challenge because this is something that I’ve needed to do, and I know in the end I will feel so much greater to have it behind me. I’m ready for this and know I can do it. Love to you as well.