Letter to myself:

Do you know what you are doing? Do you have any idea what pain you have caused? How do you think your fiance feels? Yeah, you told her what was going on. You explained what had happened when you went to out to eat with your friend. Even though good came from it, you manned up and confessed what you did, you still hurt people. And yet you have no idea. You made her cry last night. Just from telling her. Do you know how broken and torn down she feels? “I don’t feel like I know you anymore.” Yeah, that one cut deep. That hurt.. YOU ARE MARRYING HER IN THREE MONTHS! and she says she doesn’t feel like she knows you. You are a fool. You scumbag. A pervert. You made the one person you love cry, feel rejected, not good enough, flawed, unwanted, any negative term you want. You name it, she felt it. How dare you. She didn’t deserve that. After all that she has done for you, and you do this. She deserves better. Definitely a lot better than you. You are a terrible person. Well, here is whats going to happen. I know it wont be easy, but you are going away. Back to the little hole that you came from. I am done with you. And this is how I am going to do it. 1) My life is going to be a open book. I am not keeping anything from the woman love. 2) Passwords are going to be set on you phone, computer, and iPad. Your soon to be wife is going to be the only one to have those. 3.) You are going to use accountability apps. Your friend your soon to be wife will be your accountability partners. 4.) I am going to strengthen my relationship with my savior. I am going to do this by praying more. Spending more time studying the bible. And also reading Christian literature. 5.) I am going to ensure that my fiance knows I love her more than anything in the world. That she knows I am madly in love with her. She is going to know that she is the only woman that is on my mind. And no one else. She is going to know that she is beautiful. She will be loved. She will know that I want her. That I need her. I don’t need you. I am sick of you. So incredibly sick of you. So ready for you to stop controlling me and everything that I do. YOU ARE FINISHED. I hate what you have made me. I hate what I have become because of you.From this day forward, I AM A NEW MAN!

Letter from my sex addict:

You are funny. Don’t you enjoy those 3-4 minutes of a that rush? Don’t you love getting lost in this world? Its only causing problems with your future wife because you told her. If you would have kept it a secret everything would have been. HA. See? Even I can be funny. WE both know were you are heading. Down into this fun little lonely hole. I bet you didn’t even think about the future might hold for you? Wanna know? Let’s take a look. 1) You would keep spiraling downward in to this dark black hole of loneliness. The little 3-4 minute rush you get now wont be fulfilled any more, so you start looking elsewhere. 2) Your love life with your wife would be little to none. And it would not be that great, because it won’t provide you with the instant gratification like you have. 3) Our secret would eventually get out, and you would still feel ashamed, but likely it would have destroyed more. IT MOST LIKELY WOULD HAVE TAKEN EVERYTHING! Would that be great, just you and me? In this lonely pit darkness and nothingness? yeah its nice down here. We miss you down you. You will be back. I bet on it. HA.Good luck getting rid of this one. Because with the support of your wife, and you friend and God, you are going nowhere. But hey that’s where you were before you gave away our big secret. Going nowhere and you enjoyed it! so why give it up? why would you want to have a successful marriage? Why would you want to be successful period? That a good question. This way was the easy way. Its the way of instant gratification. Why would you want to give that up? But hey, its your choice. Good luck is all I have to say.