Dear Sex Addict,
It’s about time I addressed you. I’ve had a lot to say about the issues you’ve caused in my life to everyone else, but I’ve never confronted you directly. That ends right now.
I’m torn between feeling angry toward you and feeling sorry for you. You are very hurt, and confused, and lonely. You seek happiness, satisfaction, and answers from such an empty thing. When you do that, you lose hope and in turn you dive more deeply into that emptiness. You become deeply depressed, damage friendships, lose fellowship with God, and forget your real purpose in this life. And so I pity you, addict. You aren’t living, you’re killing yourself.
But I am also very angry at you. You have made an idol out of pornography and sex. You have vainly attempted to dethrone your Savior. You’ve taken the beauty of sex given by your Creator and made it into a sick and twisted thing. You’ve gone to ridiculous lengths to get what you want. You’ve made it so hard to live with you.
Which is why I’m writing this letter.
I have tried in the past to live with you. To allow you to co-exist with the rest of my life. This has not worked. I am no longer willing to do that. I don’t want you anymore. I have found that there is true freedom, satisfaction, answers, and joy apart from you. You are no longer welcome in my life.
I’ve asked many times for you to leave. You have not complied. So now I am telling you that I WILL NOT allow you to stay any longer.
Here’s what I will do to stay sober:
1. I will go to whatever means necessary to escape from the temptations and stumbling blocks that lead to you. I will leave all social media, I will stop watching TV, I will avoid certain radio stations, etc.
2. I will be uncomfortably vulnerable about you to other people to maintain openness, honesty, and accountability with them.
3. I will be uncomfortably vulnerable about you to other people in order to warn them of your lies and to prevent them from falling into your trap.
4. I will ask for help. I will not allow fear or shame to prevent me from making a phone call or sending a text message.
5. I will keep open communication with my accountability partners, close friends, those I am discipling, women’s group, my pastor and youth pastor, and other leaders in my life.
6. I will made the effort and make time to meet with my pastor weekly.
7. Most importantly, I will call upon the name of the Lord daily. I will remember the importance of and the value in having right fellowship with my God. I will be found in His word and allow Him to teach me. And I will be open with my Father about my struggles and ask Him for help. I will allow Him to change me, no matter the cost.
8. I will not listen to your lies anymore. I will remember what the Lord says about me and my value. I will walk accordingly.
9. When I mess up, I will remember Ephesians 2. I will remember that my identity is in Christ and than no good or bad thing I do can affect my salvation. I will remember that I am saved by grace through faith. I will believe that God is not done with me.
10. I will remember that God loves me deeply. I will accept that love from Him.
11. I will walk by the Spirit so that you are rendered powerless.
12. I will remember that Jesus is so much bigger than you are. And I will live accordingly.
This list, will add to itself as time continues. You need to know that I am serious about this. I want nothing more to do with you. The Lord has set me free from you, I will not put those chains back on. I will not return to hopelessness, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Rather, I will run after Christ. I will pursue Him relentlessly.
Jesus is worth it. You are not.
With no regrets,