Letter to myself:

I’ve gone so long trying to push you away from my life, hoping you’d stay there and not afflict me again. Ever since I was 11 or 12, you’ve been a force that I didn’t know how to control or deal with, and it scared me. Even these past few years, when I’ve made such progress, I still worry in those times I do fall if I will ever be rid of you completely. But I also know that just because I have this issue of sin, I’m not completely horrible. I actually have grown to like myself, and to like who I’m becoming. I can see that your sticking around in my life means that I have areas where I need to grow, areas I need to hand over to God for healing. And I am confident he will do this. I’m honestly just so tired of you, and I have to say goodbye.

Letter from my sex addict:

You’ve said over and over and over again that you are done with me, but when you get tired or angry or lonely, you come right back. You even know that misery awaits, but you don’t seem to care. How pathetic! I really can’t believe you’re serious this time – how is it going to be any different?