Letter to myself:

Dear obsolete self,

I have thought about writing to you for some time. Yet now I find a nothing but feelings. Words aren’t what I find. I have rage, shame, determination, fear, hope, hatred. Rage is what I feel after I mingle with you. Rage is a terrible thing to feel because I have yet to learn how to deal with that emotion. In fact I have never used that word to describe anything but my feelings towards you. You enrage me. The other emotions are what drive me to Jesus, my comforter. Rage remains a mystery for me. The hatred is mostly towards my actions, but towards myself as well. You have stolen something dear to me. Even at times I would give it to you. My innocence, self worth, self love, hope in future times. I want to destroy you. You have no place in this world.

You have no place in my life.

I have seen you damage my relationships with family, roommates, friends, girlfriends. Oh how my heart cries out when I think of how a man is to lead a woman. Two hearts becoming one. If my heart is not in Jesus, if my will is not completely in line with Jesus, then I have no place leading a woman. It would be fundamentally impossible. I see the wealth of ways that my eyes are seeing things differently than yours. Credit to Jesus. He is here. He is on my side.

You have no place in my life.

Letter from my sex addict:

Dear YOU,

why? WHY?? Why do you want me gone? You know you want me to stay around. You CAN have both lives. You have done it for so long now, and look…you have a dream job, friends, and so many worldly items that the world would deem you successful. Isn’t all that enough? You have made it, man. Why do you want me gone? You can have both. I know you want the lustful pleasures that you indulge in. You wouldn’t do it if you didn’t want to.

Besides, even if you tried to kick me out, you couldn’t. I’m here to stay. I’ve got such an impact on you, just look at the past. You don’t stand a chance. You are weak. Come and indulge with me some more. I have so many pleasures waiting for us. Right now, you can have any woman. They are calling for you, just make the click. It’s that easy, and it won’t hurt like the times before. Just indulge with me. You can’t make it with out me. You never will.

The one to stay