Letter to myself:

Dear Porn Addict,
I just wanted to let you know that you have had power over me for much too long. And when it really comes down to it, you don’t have that much power. You prey on my hurts, my confusion, and my fears and use them to get me to act out sexually. Just like your father, Satan, you are a deceiver. You promised me that porn wasn’t bad, that I could quit any time I wanted, and I believed you. I believed that I was strong enough. Oh but I was so wrong. In the end, you took advantage of a scared little kid, who’s terrified of being abandoned and unloved and gave me the promise that you would satisfy that need and protect me. As it turns out, I was only too willing to follow you. You are not extremely powerful, just crafty, so I’m going to need to shore up my defenses. Here’s how I’m going to do that:
A. I will stop lying to myself (softcore stuff is still porn)
B. I will not take my phone into the bathroom EVER.
C. I will seek help from David.
D. I will live day by day.
Now I know what you are going to say, you are too far gone and God can never forgive you. So let’s go through how my view of God needs to change;
A. God does me
B. God will not give up on me.
C. God can forgive me.
D. Jesus died for me, and nothing is too big for the blood of Jesus to cover.
E. God can still use me for ministry.
If I know what God thinks about me, I also need to change the way I think about myself:
A. I am not worthless.
B. I have people who love me.
C. I have people who know my failures and have not given up on me.
D. I can love myself.
E. My future wife can forgive me.
I’ve dealt with the lies that you’ve used to trap me now. I will make it my life’s goal to be completely free from you and to help others who struggle with the same thing. I will beat you.
Not your dear friend anymore,
Zach

Letter from my sex addict:

Dear Zach,
I thought I should tell you, good try. You’ve said this all before haven’t you. You say I’m not strong, but I’ve kept you imprisoned for years. I’ve kept you from completely following God with the power of a phone and a little internet access. I know you’ve tried, I know you tried. What I think you haven’t realized is that even if I am weak, your even worse. Your first little section was just adorable. You’ve said all of that before, and how did it work out for you last time? As for your second section, how could you be sure that any of that is true. In fact, I don’t believe it. God could never love someone like you. How many promises have you broken, how many times have you utterly and miserably failed? Too many to count. Sorry, I just don’t know how God could love that. As for your third section, I thought you said you weren’t lying to yourself anymore. Both of us know that you are completely worthless to be used by God. The only reason people love you is because they don’t know the real you. The people who do know don’t know the extent of it all either, so they don’t count. Your future wife will never forget you. This will cause a worm of doubt throughout your entire marriage and eventually kill it. You can’t love yourself. You hate yourself too much for that, because deep down you know you’re worthless. Sorry to break all of this too you this way.
I’ll see you next time,
The porn addict