Letter to myself:

I cant even begin to think of what to say, but the only think that keeps coming up is why? Why did you pick this up, start watching porn. It”s not like you were alone. It”s not like nobody loved you, and you never hurt. Tho there are no words that can describe the anger, disappointment, and shame I feel when I think of you, it”s ok, because there is always a way out. You just have to stick with it and tough out the temptation. What has it been, 7 years into this, and only one year ago you started to quit. How far have you gotten?

Also, how may more times are you going to lie to yourself? You are addicted, and there is hope even if you dont see it. So why dont you turn off the webcam, the computer. Get rid of the games, the apps, the videos, and turn off the camera. This isnt you, and me and you both know there is something so much better for you in the freedom that Christ gives. You just have to make the choice.

Im not saying it is going to be easy, but you know you have people who are there for you no matter the time of day. There are people who love you, and that want to help you. You just have to go to them and say it. I can tell you are hiding a lot of the truth from them, they need to know if they are going to be there for you. So dont keep living behind closed doors afraid that they will reject you, judge you, and shame you. They are there for you, and on the plus side God already knows, even if you havent told him yet. There is noting to hide from, its just your choice to be free.


Letter from my sex addict:

Why? You”re asking me why? Its funny because at first this is what you wanted. You are not making me go anywhere, and when the porn is not enough ill be there with the real thing. You are acting as if you can just walk out on me. No, this is life, YOUR LIFE. And this freedom, how are you free if I am the only reason you made it through those 7 years. You didnt have anyone, you were an outcast. I saw you and helped you up, and when life forced you back down I was already helping you up when God got there. So tell me how you plan to be free when life breaks down your door. You may be able to hold on for a while, but im not leaving and when you fall down again I am going to be first in line to grab you form that pit.