Dear Mirage,
What is a Mirage? Why do I address you as that?
A Mirage is Something that appears to be real, but is unreal or merely imagined. It’s a fantasy. Why I address you as that is because you are living the mirage of these sites. This isn’t love, it’s lust. Pure Lust. Those images, are made for destruction. Is that what you want for your life? Think about your future spouse, and family. What will happen if you continue? Will you ever truly be satisfied with the need to look at those images? Is this what God intended for you to do? You lied to me, when all I thought I had was you. My mom apologized to me because she thought she failed as a parent because of you. That’s messed up isn’t it? You have lead me to guilt, self- hate, thinking of things that clearly aren’t lovely, questioning if God is even real, or would change me heart. You have given me a messed up version of what love is suppose to be like. I don’t even know what that is anymore. Do you know every time, I watch you I feel guilty afterwards, that I cry because of you, wishing I wouldn’t wake up the next day. Praying that I won’t, but then wishing I don’t because I fear I will end up in hell? Asking myself If I would ever stop. What happened to “Don’t awaken love?” Clearly I missed what that meant. Obviously you want to make me a adulteress, a failure, and lead me into destruction. You want to make me so miserable that all I think about is you. It’s all about you isn’t it? Having quotes on sites like, ” Life is short, have a affair.” What is that? All you are in for is the pleasure. That’s it if you loved me you would tell me the truth.
I am so sick of being sick and tired, and sick and tired of you. You even made me be in your trap today, you look so appealing but all you do is destroy lives. My life. I am so done with you, I hope and Pray that I will be able to resist you, I won’t be naïve and say that the temptation will never come, but this time you won’t win. I will do everything in my power to make that be a promise. Oh, and guess what it’s not a secret, I have told people about this addiction, and when I am tempted I will be doing it again.
What will I do differently?
A. I will say exactly what I mean
b. I will write at least a few letters to my future spouse to make me believe and have faith that he will come and accept me for all I have done.
c. When I feel those urges, I will turn away.
1. Tell God
2. Tell Others
3. Turn Away
d. I will pray anti-porn, for the desire to leave my heart
e. I will have a accountability partner, and will be honest with them.
f. To guard my heart, and to be alert with what I do
g. To realize I have a purpose, and that purpose is not you.
h. God has a plan for my life.
I. I will pray for myself, and others
J. I will be honest about everything, and if I do mess up I will apologize
K. Have faith that God is real.
l. That I will go to the xxxchurch.com site to know I am not the only person that struggles with this.
M. To realize God will meet me where I am at.
N. That this letter thing is awesome, and would be a great help to you.
Sincerely,
Your true self