Letter to myself:

I can’t believe you made me go this far. I would have never guessed that in five years I would be here, You whispered in my ear that masturbation was ok to do. When i felt the pleasure from that, you told me that porn was ok too. I have been through three relationships where I have sought to have Christ in the center. But with my addiction controlling my life, they never worked out. I have been in different countries serving the Lord, but you never lost your hold on my life. I have sought freedom in my life, but that small screen on my lap or in my hand has many different plans. You have destroyed me. Things that have been important to me you have taken, because apparently porn is better. You have lied to me. In turn i have lied as well. I have told people that i am doing fine and that there was nothing to worry about. I would figure this out on my own. I am DONE. I realize now that you can’t give me what my heart desires, you only leave me broken and lonely. Because you have done this to me, I will now give my heart wholly to God. You no longer have a part of my life. I belong to Christ.
1.. My time that has been spent with you will now be with God.
2. The things that you told me are good, I will use against you now.
a. I will tell every man i know that this “relationship” with you is fake, false, and worthless
b. I will warn young men about the effects of porn, and the lies that you will tell.
3. I will bring my future children up in a home where they are aware of the hurt that pornography creates. My sons will know the lie that you have told me and they will be ready to fight. you will be fighting three people when you attack my sons. My son, myself, and God (who is three-in-one so thats actually five). Are you scared? you should be.
As Bethel Music states in their song, “I’m no longer a slave to fear, I am a Child of God.”
Thanks but no thanks for all you’ve done.


Letter from my sex addict:

Look at you, thinking you’re all good for quitting. Face it, you are a failure. Do you realize that i had control of you life in Peru, in Germany, in Czech Republic? I saw how you looked at your teammate with the big breasts. You wanted that. You failed in your mission to “save” people because you were too focused on yourself. You will never be the same. You will always come back to me. You want my sensations that i bring. You are dead. Just give up and come back to me. Or just continue. You’ll come back sooner or later.

Until next time,

Sex addict.

P.S. Your kids will hate you for this decision that you’ve made.