Letter to myself:

Olivia,
Seeing you cling to something that is of no worth truly hurts my heart. i hate seeing you so broken after every time you watch a video and i hate hearing your thoughts when you think of what a disappointment you are. because you are not. olivia, you found the courage and you found the strength to go you mrs. dyck and tell her how you have been struggling, and to me, that is the very first step of healing. you have overcome one of the hardest parts and now all you need to do is stick to it. you need to stay strong, have courage, and keep good thoughts in your mind. and i know you can do it, because you have done it before. thousands of times. you have picked yourself up alone, and now it is time to let someone else pick you up, for this burden is too heavy to carry on your own. it’s okay to be broken at times, olivia. nobody is perfect and nobody ever will be. but please, don’t end it all.

Letter from my sex addict:

Olivia,
I love porn and i am sorry. it gives me temporary comfort and it gives me that love that i desire from a human. after going through such heaetbreak, i want one thing for myself. so please, just leave me alone, pray for me if you want, but let me be me and watch what i want. it gives me what i want. it meets me where i’m at. and it makes me feel what i want to feel. so sorry for being a disappointment, a mess, and nothing that you wanted me to be. i want to get better, but i don’t know if i can.