Letter to myself:
You have been so miserable all these 21 years because of your addiction. Imagine the losses – relationship with God and family, hurts caused to others, depression, shame, unworthy feeling, loss in career and work, loss of ministry opportunities. The list goes on. And you still feel okay and that you can control it. You are badly deceived – about God, about yourself, about women, about life itself.
Be serious. Let me tell you what you should be doing.
Read the Word, meditate and memorize.
Don’t take cell phone to work and let your wife check that you are doing it. Get rid of it and Internet access if necessary.
Don’t spend time on laptop unnecessarily.
Confess immediately when you are even exploring for possible temptation.
Hand over money control to wife.
Accountability – with friend daily and with advisor weekly.
Spend time at home with wife and kids.
Know that God loves you, accepts you and is with you all the way to overcome.
Letter from my sex addict:
You think you can overcome. You have always been miserable, fearful, lonely, sad, unworthy, ugly, poor piece of rag. You cannot overcome. Nothing good will happen to you. Your life, family and career will be destroyed. Your son is already cursed with a disease and your daughter will hate you and grow up without a dad. All will hate you because of who you are.
I am way too strong. You will be okay for a time and you will come back right to me. Hahaha. No one loves you. You will always be an addict. Only in this addiction will you get the relief from all your anxieties you have. Get real. God isn’t going to help you and is not interested in you. You are never going to grow up.