Letter to myself:

Letter to myself:

I know it’s been hard for you, to face your fears and your addiction to pornography, and also how you think that having to deal with yourself and your feelings will only make you weaker, that is why you rather numb the pain, which is not the answer to the roller-coaster of your emotions. I know you are broken and you think there is no solution, and that you will never change so you are destined to be an addict the rest of your life.
However, I know how courageous and strong you can be. You will get through this. There’s no addiction that God cannot break, and the day will come when you will be able get rid of the shackles and the lies that have trapped you for almost 15 years. The thing is that, It is up to you to be brave enough and take the first step to start a new journey. With this been said:

-You will make a decision
-You will be firm on those decisions
– You will be honest with yourself and mentors
– No more excuses on reading your bible
– No more self-pity
– No more “I can’t” or “this is too hard”

Close the cycles. Start your assignments, and finish them strong. Be obedient to God’s voice, He loves you so much and never ever gets tired of you, no matter what. You can’t no longer partner with the lies you’ve been told, instead believe and speak life over yourself and live according to the promises God has given you. No more shame or condemnation. Dream, dream big–don’t you ever stop dreaming…There is no such thing like “I will never be able to renew my mind”– you can be Heaven-Minded, there is no such thing like ” I am all alone in this”; He will never leave you or forsake you” just trust He has good plans for you.

Know that you are not defined by your mistakes or relapses. Even though it seems impossible for you, it is not for Him, and if you finally commit yourself to fight this battle, you will be free and became a voice to free others as well. Don’t quit anymore.

Letter from my sex addict:

Letter from my porn addict:

So, apparently you think you are brave enough to cut me out of your life. Truth is that if you haven’t had the courage to end this in the past 14 years, there’s nothing you can do anymore, too late! You are way too messed up and too weak to fight me. I will always win. Face it; you can’t last one week without running to me, so pathetic. You will always be that shy, insecure girl… always afraid about life, afraid of speaking up, afraid of loving, afraid of ending up lonely… afraid of hurting the people you love the most..And that’s what you do. If you don’t want to hurt your loved ones anymore, try keeping your issues to yourself and fight me alone, who knows, perhaps I’ll give you a rest and let you win for a few days. Anyway, you are too disgusting like to be loved by anyone..but seriously if you keep allowing me into your life, I will literally destroy it and make it miserable! I mean…Not that I haven’t done it so far…and stop dreaming about having a family and those kids you want to have so badly, what makes you think you will ever have that…or maybe you will, but trust me they will end up much worse than you… so if I were you I’d totally dismiss that idea. Give in and stop making it so hard to everyone , they are all done with you, especially God. You’ll never find peace, joy or love…I will be here to make sure of that…but if you think you are strong as you say you are, then show me what you have.