Dear sex addict,
You have controlled me for too long. I know I’ve tried to defeat you before, but failed. I can’t even promise you it’s going to be different this time. But I can promise you it’s going to be different today. I’m not looking at white-knuckling it against you for the rest of my life; I’m looking at fighting against the lies you’ve told me for today. Here’s what I’m going to do:
1. I will not circumvent the filters & monitors I have in place. I know I can always get around them, but I will live in the moment, not the future. I will let the few seconds of hesitation they provide give me the chance to think before I act impulsively.
2. I will be honest. I will not lie to my pastor, my wife, myself, my Lord, nor anyone else. If this means I will face consequences, so be it.
3. I will find an accountability partner who I can trust fully. This means going past my pastor. He is my boss, and that creates a conflict of interests. Perhaps in time I will be fully accountable to him. PLEASE NOTE: THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU GET A FOOTHOLD OF DISHONESTY IN ME. I WILL NOT LIE TO HIM.
You’re not worth it. You’ve robbed me of the life I could be living for too long. It’s not that I’ll miss you – I’ve already missed out on too much because of you.
1. I will deepen my relationship with God through spiritual disciplines
a. Meditating – daily on God’s word, His plan for me, and the world
b. Prayer – daily; mostly to praise & thank God, see His will be done, and for others. Only for myself as it relates to my helpfulness to God & others
c. Fasting – regular, weekly on Fridays
d. Study – weekly in depth study for teaching, but to apply personally first
e. Silence & solitude – weekly for >1 hour on Fridays while fasting
f. Simplicity – daily practiced – reviewed daily
g. Submission – daily practiced – reviewed daily
h. Confession – daily to God, >weekly to accountability partner
i. Worship – daily practiced – reviewed daily
j. Guidance – daily practiced – reviewed daily
k. Celebration – daily practiced (except on Fridays?) – reviewed daily
l. Journalling – daily practiced after night prayers
m. Evangelism – lived daily, goal is to make monthly contact w/ non-Christian
n. Learning – read >1 book/month
2. Work the steps
3. Take care of myself physically
a. Eat better
b. Exercise more
Change my beliefs:
1. God loves me, just as I am
2. I cannot lose His love no matter what
3. He is, and will continue to, fight for me, and with me, against my sin
4. What other people think of me doesn’t matter. Best of all, God, You are with me.
I really don’t think you stand a chance today.
No longer yours,