Letter to myself:

I want you to realize that going down this road of pornography and sexual immorality will only bring you to pain and guilt and condemnation. You are a temple of the very Spirit of Christ and He desires you to be set free. His very name, Jesus, was chosen because His earthly mission was to save His People from their sins. YOU are a part of His People and He is offering you TODAY the FREE gift of grace if you would just accept it. He loves you SO much and He so desires you to be free. It just pains Him to see you settling for less when He is offering you so much more that your sins could ever give you. You have fallen so far from where you were before this addiction came,BUT NOT TOO FAR FOR GOD TO SAVE YOU!! So don’t lose hope! The feeling of condemnation that you feel testifies that God is still with you and is reaching out His divine hand to save you. All that you need to do is grasp it. No matter how far you stray that gift of grace will always remain; however, don’t use that gift as an excuse to sin more. God is offering you freedom so don’t go back to that way that YOU DIED TO. I know that the temptation is strong to go further and further into sin, but rely on God because His gift for you is so much sweeter and fulfilling than the rush of sin. Pray continually and rejoice always in advance of God’s unimaginable freedom. When you get the urge “flee”. Take a walk outside or go for a jog if you need to. Set up barriers of protection and play your saxophone or trumpet or do something so that you won’t be tempted. AGAIN allways PRAY to God and immerse yourself in the Word continually for this is the vitalist step to freedom. Don’t look up Christian answers to sexual immorality or the like (at least for now) because that will lead you so close to sin by just clicking “images” or something. The Word has all the answers you need if you would just look. Don’t use Christian advice as an excuse to read it for yourself. If you take the time and effort to study and search God’s Word for yourself I am confident that God will bless you.

Don’t become a captive of sin again but look to God and He will give you the freedom you desire.


Letter from my sex addict:

I know how much I sin and I feel God’s pull on me to “flee” as you have said but I continually rejct His appeal. It is not like I dont realize what I am doing ( because I know that perfectly well). I dont even know why I do what I do. I do what I hate and not what I enjoy. I convince myself that if I don’t feel bad then it is okay but I know inside me that it is not. I have gotten so used to asking for forgiveness (and I know that God forgives me) and then turning around a few hours or a few minutes later and doing the same thing again. I have wondered before at why sin is so bad. Some have influenced me to think that it is okay to sin because it is a part of our nature and I’ll sin again. But now I realize that Jesus came to save me from my sins and He gives me the power today so that I can “go, and sin no more” (John 8:11). With myself that is impossible but with God ALL THINGS are possible. I have realized now that what the people meant was that even though I probably will sin again I shouldn’t use that as an excuse to purposely sin. I can hide behind my past and continue to sin and rebel or I can accept God’s free gift of life and follow Him. I dont want to drag my sins behind me so I confess to God (but also to myself). One day I will probably take someone’s hand in marriage, but I want to do that with a pure heart that is overflowing with love for God and filled with the Holy Spirit and not separated from Him by my sins. I want to live the same way that I would want my future wife to live. Although I can’t undo what I have done and seen and desired I choose TODAY to abbandon that sickness and accept God. I have tried setting up website filters for myself, but I continue to conjure ways to bypass them. Even when I don’t do that I see images all the time (through TV and adds) trying to draw my eyes and corrupt me again. It is so hard to run away (and even when I do, it comes back to me at night so that I cant sleep). The Devil knows that I am trying to flee and he puts stumbling blocks in my way to get me to turn back to him. I just want to confess this all and release it so I can be free with myself again. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!