Dear Addict,

You tell me that secrets don’t hurt anyone, a lie. Secrets don’t stay secret for long. You tell me I can take a short cut to being respected, but how can I respect myself if I give in to you? God knows, and He opposes the proud.

You lie! You tell me that looking that way at women gives me power; you’re wrong. I am done being powerless to you. Power comes straight from God, and He opposes the sorcerer’s attempt to manipulate.

You know that I fear being alone, in pain, and unable to fall asleep. Giving into you will keep me alone, compound my pain, and contribute to my restless life.

You try to make me forget the Sabbath and never enter it like the Israelites of Numbers. You tell me I am dirty so I may as well continue looking at women marrying my heart to harlots to distance myself from God. You forget that the High Priest who was tempted and can relate to my struggle in every way shed His blood to make me clean that I might enter His Sabbath!

You tell me I should have a pretty woman to undress with my eyes. You offer a harem through the internet crushed under the weight of sex slavery. The truth contradictory to your lies: women are made equal and complementary to men not commodities, objects, livestock. No! Beautifully made image bearers of God that deserve dignified respect!

As a single man, you tempt me to crave the temporary happiness and relaxation which only leads to more pain and gnashing of teeth in Hell. I am done listening to your lies, even when I am tired with back pain worse than cutting my fingers to the bone 24/7 7 days a week.

I don’t need you yet you keep hanging on my back yelling, “feed me.” I know your tenacity as day and night you plead a case against me before God with your deception and double speak.

I will boast in my humiliation! Ask God to put me in my place and make me a humble servant. I cry out to God for endurance and help spotting the exit signs.

There is no room for false pride, dead power, and objectifying jealousy, but His pride, His power, and His jealously are worth remaining chaste for this brief vapor of life under the sun.

I pray you get locked away as I reach out for more help.

Jacob