Letter to myself:

You can stop and you will stop! At this point there’s no other option. I’m young and although I’ve still been hooked on porn for many years I’m grateful that it hasn’t been as many years as people older than me. I’ve tried this before but I wasn’t as determined. Wasn’t as faithful. My faith in God wasn’t strong enough but now it is. After getting hit by the holy spirit so hard I know how much Jesus really loves me and how much he really wants me to be free. I am loved, I am armed with a really love. I can love, and it is possible for me to love with a real love. There is absolutely no reason why I need to be at another conference with my main focus being to break the chains of masturbation and pornography, because links on those chains are breaking apart one by one and they will be completely fallen. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and that is a fact, a fact that will prevail no matter how deep and how harsh of a trap Satan has put me in. My sins have been forgiven and Jesus is the only true example of that but I still don’t want to sin! I know I don’t because there are reasons why it doesn’t sit right with God. Porn and masturbation haven’t just tried to sabotage the reign of the Holy spirit within me but it has tried to sabotage my entire life and that is not okay!! There is power within me, power within God, power within my relationships with others, and that is a real power than will live on and defeat this terrible part of my life!!

Letter from my sex addict:

You can’t be serious about this. Do you have no idea how impossible it has been to drop this out of your life before? You’ve tried and tried since the first day you went on this journey in Grade 5 but has anything worked before to quit? No. Besides, you love this feeling of release. There’s way too much stress in your life to not use your addiction to cope with it. Sure you may not feel good when you fall into your temptation, but you feel way worse when you fall into that temptation after trying so hard to break it. So don’t try to break it. Have fun. You’ll come crawling back anyways…