Letter to myself:

You are trying. I know you are. But it’s not enough. And it’s not your fault. In all honesty, you cannot get through this alone. You need God. And you know you do. You’ve tried so much, but nothing works. But here is the thing: I know you can do it. You wear that purity ring because you want to save yourself for marriage. But are you truly saving yourself when you do the things you do? Is the temporary pleasure really worth it? I want you to remember that you are worth the world to God, and He is always going to be there to help you through this struggle. This is a lifelong struggle. You may not always be dealing with it, but it will always be apart of who you once were. I want you to remember that God wipes away your past sins, and the future ones, as well. He loves you more than anything, and He will never give up on you. You are so strong, and so beautiful, and way too young to be dealing with this. But God handed you this struggle because He knows you can get through it. Just cry out to Jesus. Run into His arms. Stay strong. You want to stay clean in 2015. You’re already 1/52 there. You can do it.

Spend time with Jesus. Read the Bible. Listen to your favorite worship songs. Talk to your accountability partner. God will break these chains.

You’ve been saved and redeemed. So start acting like it.

Letter from my sex addict:

I’m trying so hard. But that’s the thing- it is hard. It is so hard to stay clean. All it takes is one night without practice, one bad test grade, one fight with my sister and I cave. I’ve tried a lot of things, and I do lean on God, but not enough. I know I can get through this, but it is so hard.

I crave the feeling I get. I don’t know why. It’s not just the physical pleasure. It’s the emotional and mental pleasure. I want to be loved like that. But I know that’s not love. God is love.

I haven’t stayed clean for more than 21 days in almost two years. But I know I can do it.

I thought my purity ring would help- it hasn’t.

I need God more than ever right now. Going off to college gives me even more freedom. I need to be strong. I need to be clean.

I need to be freed.