You have ruled in my life for to long. I have let you take a place in my heart, take control of my life, and fill me with guilt and regret. All the time I was blissfully unaware of how truly evil you are. The world says this is normal, okay, even so far as to say its abnormal not to be addicted. I was totally unaware of how truly damaging and dangerous you really are. No more, I see you now for who you are. You are;
-lazy, unwilling to put in the work needed to change your life
-afraid, of what others will see. You have to always be looking over your back and worrying about what others see.
-dishonest, you can never tell the truth because the truth is you are a sick and perverted man
-angry, because you know you will never have the life you want with this addiction in control.
-isolated, no one wants to be around you because you are not fully you because you cannot show people your dark side
-broken, you will always be filled with a hole you cannot fill no matter how hard you try.
-selfish, there is no serving others only yourself and your addiction
-no purpose, what is there to live for except for the next sexual experience, nothing but emptiness and regret
-no hope, the future is awful! You will always be a miserable failure
But now, GOD has come to rain in my heart. I will run to him! Today, tomorrow, and forever I want to rest in his loving arms. Your evil traps, your lies, your failures have no hold on me any more. There is no guilt only hope. God has wiped my sin away he has made me clean as snow. Purified and called me good and faithful servant. I am given a purpose and a hope in him and in pursuit of him I bring others into contact with him, what a promise of hope. You cannot compare, you are empty and disgusting.
You have my full attention now addict, you’ll never sneak up on me again. I know your triggers;
-alone time
-boredom and no plans
-discouragement and people pleasing
-screen time, cannot veg out in front of tv or internet anymore
-sexually perverted jokes and crude people, there is no humor in your evil traps only brokenness
-lusting eyes, must bounce away and control my gaze
-loses or failures
-criticism from others
-being overworked and overstressed
-dark rooms with no one around
-curiosity
I have built a plan addict, these attacks you bring against me will be met with heavy resistance. From now on out you are in for a battle, no better yet a war! You may knock me down and challenge me but I promise you I will come at you with full vengeance. I desperately want victory and will do whatever it takes to destroy you forever in my life. And whats more I don’t fight alone… God has my back and he surrounds me with all the tools to absolutely destroy you. You have no hope and might as well surrender now. I will;
– start and end my day on my knees in prayer, seeking Gods help in this fight
-memorize scripture to remind me of God’s promises and his desire for me to be pure
-paint a vivid picture in my mind of the hope and promise of an awesome future with my girlfriend when, you addict, are out of my life completely
-meet regularly with my accountability partner
– weekly attend the x3 group
– get a spiritual mentor
– exercise regularly and use my body in a healthy way
– take breaks and manage stress in a healthy way, don’t let it build up
– read uplifting books, go to the bible daily
– when tempted reach out for help, don’t fight alone
– be 100% honest with accountability partner, my group, my girlfriend. no more hiding
– attend church and pursue fellowship weekly
You have told me I am worthless, broken, and hopeless for far to long. You have tried to make me believe that no one likes me that I am an outcast, that I don’t fit in but God has given me a different message and a different hope. I no longer have to listen to your lies. I am;
-deeply loved by God
-forgiven and saved forever, nothing can separate me from God
-God’s child, destined to live a life of purpose in service to him
-created for a reason
-filled with gifts to honor and bring glory to God
-I am a good guy and worthy of being loved by others
-I am truly accepted and loved by many people (family, girlfriend, friends, students)
– a hard worker, committed to giving my very best to all areas of my life.
Consider this your eviction notice from my life. I know you will not go easily but know that I won’t give up. This is not just a battle I will fight today or tomorrow but one that I am prepared to fight for the rest of my life. GIVE UP NOW!