Letter to myself:
Listen, bud. You are going to get through this. I know you are so scared right now. I know that you feel like at any moment you could lose the sobriety you’ve worked so hard towards. I know that you feel so trapped by your addiction and all the sneakiness that has resulted from it. You feel so trapped and afraid by the lie that you’ve told to everyone: that you have been free for months, when in fact, it has only been weeks. You don’t want to admit that you’ve fallen because you are petrified of the consequences in your personal life with your wife and with you status as a “recovering minister”. You almost with that someone would find out and confront you just so you could get it out in the open – you know what that feels like. But the thought of having to do it is just terrifying because you are afraid that your wife would leave you and also you are so determined not to hurt he anymore by acting out. But, y don’t you see that she would be hurt worse if she found out like this?
I hope that you can move past the fear. Where God’s love is, fear cannot exist. I pray that you find peace in Him and are able to get free. But I am think you won’t be able to do that until you can come clean.
Letter from my sex addict:
Don’t go! Stay here! It’s so easy to just keep quiet. People are not going to find out. You don’t live in a world with psychics who are out to get you. Chances are good that if you don’t say anything, no one will know. You can start the recovery process without saying anything to anyone.
You are right, if you tell your wife, she might leave you. Then where would you be! If you tel her, she will be so upset, and you hate to see her upset. So, just don’t say anything! Keep quiet. It’ll be better for the both of you that way.
Remember Soledad? It won’t get that far again. You can be free, just don’t tell anyone where you really are with your sobriety.