Letter to myself:

For decades you have controlled me. For nearly that long, I didn’t know it. Well … here’s the deal. I have put guardrails in place. You know guardrails … those protective devices on highways that prevent you from driving off the road and winding up in places you wouldn’t wish on anybody. I have accountability partners. They won’t let me slide. I have slid … but those days are past me. Those guardrails will keep me on the road. I will be regularly checking in with my accountability partners. They will keep me focused on jettisoning you from my life. I pray numerous times per day. That will continue. I am God’s, not yours any longer. I will die to myself and live for others, especially my wife (should she decide to stay.) Your cost has been great, but my God is greater. I know I cannot do this alone. That’s why I am going to counseling and have installed x3watch on all my devices. I will (and have) been honest about any slips. While I might fall in a mud puddle, I will never again wallow in that puddle and make mud pies … regardless of the outcome of my actions. I have been 7 days clean and that will eventually become 70 and then 700. Goodbye to you, my addiction. You’ve got this! Not because of me, but because of Him.

Letter from my sex addict:

Aren’t you glad you found your dad’s stash when you were a mere teenager? Don’t you remember the first time you saw those magazines? Don’t you remember those magazines you saw at your buddy Mike’s house? I knew then I had you hooked. You even got caught, remember? Then you were told that the female body is a beautiful thing and it’s a gift from God. Then, you never had any luck with the girls in high school. But remember college? You got to start your life all over again. You couldn’t get enough. Well, I think I can still reel you back in. Look, I see what you have done to isolate me from you. But, that can’t last forever, can it? I have to admit, you’ve done a pretty good job keeping me away over the last month. It won’t be easy, but I just might be able to reach you. If you don’t keep your guard up, I’ll have you in my grasp once again. Good luck. You’re gonna need it.