Letter to myself:
I just want to tell you to keep fighting. You’ve lost a lot to your addiction, to your mislaid ideas about women and your misconceptions about accountability, pornography and God’s forgiveness. TIme and time again you’ve given up. You’ve let yourself slip. I’m here to get in your face. You think you will make it eventually, but you’re so afraid if you start now you’ll just fail later. You maintain the fear of failure in the future by letting yourself fail now. Quit giving sin the chance! If you want to stop thinking that it doesn’t matter because you’ll either fail now or later, get your head on straight. It’s not even about what you can do! God has got it in his hands. He is waiting for you to quit letting it have a hold. Once you let go, he will take it and rip it to shreds, but not before! Think of the wife you’ll someday have. Think of your children, your friends, the person you will love for the rest of your life. Every day that you refuse sin, you are honoring and loving them. So start NOW.
Letter from my sex addict:
I’m scared. I’m scared I’m going to slip again. I’m terrified that it doesn’t matter how hard I try anymore because I just keep failing. I hate myself, I hate this disgusting thick ooze that corrupts my mind and my heart. My head aches with the sense of my soul doing battle. I just want to be done. I want to never have to fight it again. I know that I will struggle for a long time, though. I just need hope. Hope that it is possible. Help me. Don’t fail me again. Don’t let this happen anymore.