Dear Sex Addict (SA),
I have found a better SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) – a fellowship where I can surrender your power to a greater, higher power – a loving God as I understand him, as I know him to be revealed in the Scriptures. I also know that in true fellowship/community (with others at SA, church and elsewhere) your power is weakened – I can’t do this on my own, but you can’t win the battle if I am in this with God and others. Increasingly I am surrendering to God and not you these days – he is a far better master – like light and shade – completely awesome/kind/loving and generous, compared to a lying/cruel/demanding/crushing/depressing tyrant that you are.
I am slowly learning that freedom comes in total abandonment to God, the God who is Father, Son & Spirit, who’s Word is contained in the 66 books of the Bible. That Word can be hard to grasp at times but I actually think it is pretty wise and makes a lot of sense. “To lose your life is to save your life”, “Jesus came to save the sick, not the well/righteous”, “Life is found in serving God and others, not self”. Such truths and principles make sense and I truly am starting to believe them with more than just my head. “It works if you work it” – the SA steps and the promises of Scripture – reading them does relatively little, acting them out/living them out transforms me and proves to be a blessing to God and others.
The journey ahead will be interesting, exciting and challenging – a real adventure. An adventure i was not really able to engage with while in my addiction. I increasingly believe that you don’t need to be a part of my life – I would be better off withour you. Consider this a divorce. Sure i still have feelings for you sometimes, we have a history – but that is what it is – a history. I know you weren’t committed to me, you didn’t help me or fill my life – you just destroyed it – you wanted to kill me! You have had your day in the sun, and shown your true colours. All you ever truly gave me was a life turned inward, a life of fear, a life of fantasy, a life of desperation, a life of discontentment, a life of lies, a life of depression, a life of anxiety and a life of despair.
There are plenty of other good things that can take your place. Not going to miss you – cutting you out of my life, with the help of God and others. You are just not helpful to have in my life anymore.
And i will be telling others that you aren’t worth getting into a relationship with either,