Letter to myself:
Dear Porn Addict,
Your problems started back in 1997 after graduating high school & purchasing a PC with money that was gifted to you for graduation by your family. If they only knew what you were actually doing with the majority of your time being on the internet. Do you realize just how devastated they would be to know this? What started out as a fun activity & because of your feelings of loneliness you chose to look at porn..Then you took it step further by masturbating to it & you said to your self “I’m not hurting anyone by doing this so what’s the big deal its just porn.” You have also viewed porn even before you bought your first PC. Do you remember when you were 14 years old & watched your first adult film? Or the time you watched you watched a few movies & looked at magazines at 16. What about the times when you had a friend that was of age to rent the movies for you when you were 17 at the adult store? Then when you were the age of 18 you renting them your yourself.
Little did you know years later at the age of 24 you would meet that special woman you had been searching for & not only that you asked her to marry you. Then a year later you married her & you told her before you got married to her that you wouldn’t need porn anymore that you had her by your side. But lets not forget that when told her that she believed you & she told you that she had a major problem with porn because of what happened to her as a child. You were able to get away from the addiction or so you thought. When the both you became newlyweds only to have the addiction resurface again. Only this time you were just viewing it & not pleasuring yourself. Did that make it right? The answer is no it didn’t. Do you remember when your wife first caught you viewing porn on the internet & just how hurt she was to learn you didn’t stop? Almost eleven years later into your marriage you are still viewing porn on the internet.
You told your wife time & time again that you would stop. She even agreed at one point to watch porn movies with you to spice up things in the bedroom but one of the rules was to not view porn behind her back but you did it anyway. Looking at adult webcam & video websites online only for your wife to find out you were still doing what you said you wouldn’t do anymore because you love her. Porn has ruined your intimate relationship that you had with your wife. There has been quite a few occasions that a night of passion & spending time with her didn’t happen why? Because you couldn’t been honest with her that you weren’t doing it anymore. Then she says that she can’t trust you because she knows you are looking at things on the computer but you still do it anyway. You think to yourself “Well, she doesn’t believe me when I stop for a period of time, I might as well just keep on doing it. If she is going to treat like I’m always guilty of doing it most of the time.” If your thinking this way then things will never change between you & your wife.
Wake up man! You need to change your way of thinking & work at changing things to improve your marriage. With the help of your spouse, counseling, God, prayer & joining a recovery group through your church or even through another source you can achieve sobriety & never feel the need to have porn in your life ever again. You can do this I know you can! With your health declining you need to spend as much time as you can with your wife & that also includes intimacy. I really hope that you take my advice I have given you & doing something about it now before its too late. Because you don’t want to live with regret of not making things right. Especially with God, your wife & yourself. So please turn your life around & make things better for yourself!
I don’t need you back in my life
Letter from my sex addict:
Its me your favorite person that you have always depended on all these years. You know I have been there for you when you were sad & lonely. In your time of need I was always there to help you by causing you to feel guilty. Lets not forget how I have made you spend more time surfing the internet looking at adult websites then achieving your goals that you have set for yourself. I’m the guy that has caused you to lie to yourself & your loving wife because you needed your fix. Forget about spending time with her because you spent most of your time with me.
I’m also the one who made you lie to her because you didn’t want to get caught just so you could have sex with her. Because you were checking out webcam & video porn websites all day long. Then when she accused you of looking at porn whether you were or not I came at you with a vengeance & you went crazy hitting your favorite places to go on the internet. I had you thinking oh well she’s not going believe you anyway.
So, why don’t you keep me around to ruin your life some more? Let me help you potentially destroy your marriage & live with all the guilt. Don’t forget your health is not the greatest but I still have a tight hold on you to make you not reach your goals. Just remember I’m always there to mess things up for you.
Your favorite pal