Letter to myself:

Where to begin,,,,
For a few years now you have been the secret struggle that is constantly plaguing the back of my mind and constantly reminding me of the images that I have seen and watched. Your pull on me is so strong but this is why i need to get rid of this now before it becomes too much that it destroys any possible future relationships. I want and need to get rid of this bad habit of looking at pornography. A few years ago I first told my parents after a certain event kinda blew up in my family and someone that I thought I knew and trusted told the secrets we had between us(secrets that I’m not proud of. Of things we did together. and he was the one who introduced porn to me). But this habit still lingered. There have been numerous times where I was freed from it but somehow ended up in the same place. The things that scar me the most and tend to be my triggers is mainly loneliness and if people found out that they wouldn’t want to know me. But I know I’m going to beat this. First of all going to keep a short account before God. And I’m going to begin counselling sessions. My God is much bigger than this. I really really don’t want this anymore. I need to be more open about my struggles with the people around me which is going to be really hard. But I have the courage to shine Gods light on this. And a few months ago I told my best friend. And she was so encouraging and supportive of me. But it has grabbed a hold of me since then. Hence why I’m here now. This is something thats had a hold on me for too long.

Letter from my sex addict:

Aren’t you glad your ex brother-in-law introduced you to this. And I knew you were hook the moment you had the second glance. Even though you told him to turn it off. But he showed you anyway. He kept telling you over and over that porn was ok. But never in front of your parents because he knew what they would say. You think you’re going to beat this. Heh i think not. Its going to destroy your life. This secretive act will never be beaten. Overtime you are lonely I will entice you to come and play.