What are you doing? You are taking your life away. This has gone on for way too long. How do you expect to get a husband with this behavior? God will not bless you by being a part time Christian. This addiction has taken soooo much away from you. It has to stop. Now. I never thought of myself as an addict. When you hear addict you think drugs, alcohol, not pornography and orgasm. You are an addict and it has taken over your life.