I can’t believe I’m actually taking time out of my day to write you. I’m so tired and would rather be doing something else, but I’ve tried every way imaginable to control you but it’s never worked. I guess this is how desperate I’ve become. I didn’t really think fear has had anything to do with this, but the more I dwell on this and dig deep, I see that I’ve been afraid of many things. For one, is that because of what I’ve been exposed to as a kid, along with the abuse, that I was a pervert. And not just gay but gross. I’ve let you have your way with me in so many areas of sex. I’ve let you try and confuse my orientation and objectify women regardless of their age. I’ve allowed you to break me down and keep me down, coming back to you like a dog returns to its vomit. I’ve been so afraid to claim the title of sex addict, thinking I was just a regular guy that had a tough upbringing, almost excusing my actions and thoughts because of it. But guess what motherfucker, I AM a sex addict! Or better yet, YOU are a sex addict! I am the guy that is going to survive this and claim victory and no longer walk with a limp, or a cane. I am taking measures I never have to ensure victory, and by faith believe that is the catalyst for change that will stick. I know you are going to tempt me and rear your ugly head more often then not, but I need to do this not only for myself but for my kids as well. You are a product of a father that dealt with sexual sin all the way up until his recent death. He warned you that it was what kept him away from the calling God had upon his life. I will not let you cripple me or my children. You are done.
Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.