Letter to myself:
Hey guy…..you have been a very nice companion (in your own way). You did the best you knew and thought was best for me. You showed me the “real enjoyment” the king you knew about. It was based on mt curiosity, I needed to know , I craved fir the unknown……. And you came along as a nice suggestion. You appeared as though you meant no harm. I must say you really tried. You did your best. I have tasted a side of life I otherwise wouldn’t. I wish I didn’t but thank God I did. Know you’ve made me know better. I now realise what is true. I now realise what is good. I taste for real enjoyments but it is definitely not what you are offering. 13 years is over half my life! But now I want to spend the second half of my life doing that which is NORMAL. A normal life is one free of masturbation, lust, porn, and all your other acquaintances. I am embarking on anything superficial. No! Am just getting to become normal again. A normal guy takes control of his thoughts, and thinks what he want. A normal guy is not addicted to nothing and no slave. He is in charge and fully responsible for his life and actions. A normal guy has nothing to hid in his character. He is the same in secret and public. A normal guy loves Jesus Christ and want to please him and spend time with Him. A normal guy is in the midst of temptations everyday but does not succumb to any…. He strives to live righteously ( that is not about being a saint but being a regular guy doing what I RIGHT and is in right standing with hus creator). A normal guy lives in this consciousness: I have a creator who sees me, he knows who I am, I can’t deceive him! He is always looking out for me…would I make him proud or disgrace Him? At the end I will have to give account of my life and every thing I ever did! What would it be? Will the account balance his love or be a deficit?
Sincerely, porn is sweet; masturbation could be awesome! Going after that gurl with perverted thoughts can be…..i lack better words to say. But you see, that’s not normal! It’s not right either! Yes, I heard you right, there are several thing I am not doing right…. Granted yes, but then is it wrong starting to get things right around here? I guess not. I heard you again….. Within the last thirteen years I have tried and failed. That’s true as well. But I have learned from my mistakes and now try again. Yes, what if I fail? Yes I have more chances to fail than succeed. But I’ll take the chance. For it is by far better than staying with you. What if I fail? I’ll learn and try again. Again? Yes I’ll try again. You know, I just want to live normal. Normal as God created things to be. I sm nit asking fir a hard thing. I know I could fail…that’s why I am doing something different: Getting the help I can. With that I’ll ask you Mr addict what if I succeed? What if I ditch your old ass behind and get a life! I heard you, well run along as long as you want but there will be no second chance. I am not staying with you! No never not I!
Mr Addict once again I thank you for all the “good” you tried to show me. You did your best….but in the process you cost me more. You damaged me. My life, thinking, private lifestyle, views of women, fantasy/reality, relationship with God, and a lot more. I won’t blame you….that’s just the price I had to pay to keep “enjoying” you. But I don’t wish to continue this way. You’ve been in charge since now I want to take the wheels or better hand it over to God. I sure will miss you and all you offers. I thought about it and am cool with that. I wish myself success in my future endeavour without you. For you, I wish you should be locked behind bar without hope of parole.
I really miss you already…but it’s for the better. It’s time to get a life.
Before I go, meet my new resolution, my old friend Jesus(we messed with Him alot but He was still there), my new pal x3 church(am sure you know them).
While you go you way, I wish myself happy independence
To a normal life of freedom, true happiness and doing right
Letter from my sex addict:
I spoke to you earlier but you were showing yourself. Ok go if you want to but am watching you……….