Letter to myself:
You have robbed me of my peace and destiny for too long! You have lied to me that I can’t control myself and that there is comfort in my addiction to porn. You have lied to me and told me for too long that I can be fulfilled in porn. That whenever I’m hurt upset tired or lonely that my outlet is porn and feeding that dragon! Every time I buy your lie I need more I need to act out I need the real thing I need to have sex! You have caused me to live in shame defeat and misery for so long that I’m used to you and it’s like I can’t function without you popping up every once in awhile. When I was on fire for God you would pop up and cause me to sin. You have held me back for years and years. Making me feel helpless and out of control. The problem is I have wasted so much time and energy listening to you that it breaks my heart. I have lost fellowship time with God, sleep, my job, chores around the house, and even spending time with my family and friends. You have been around since I can remember. When I used to watch HBO late night when mommy went to bed. Recording shows and masturbating over and over again for hours just feeding you. In college I was proud of my habit and would flant it around as a badge of honor. Showing friends and spending thousands of dollars on you. I even lost friends because of my addiction. I would live in these fantasies and try to act them out. I would engage In Risky behavior putting my life at risk. Going to video arcades bath houses massage parlors parks and countless sexual experiences. As I write this I hate you more because I’m seeing the destruction your causing me. The pain and guilt is real and I honestly at times wanted you to stay because it felt good to feed you. But not anymore Holy Spirit has done a work in me and these 2 days of feeding you again has made me sick. I’m not going to act like I know how to get rid of you, but I’ll do whatever it takes to get you out my life for good! I hate you I hate what you have made me become and what you have done to my life. So goodbye when the urge hits me I’m reaching out im being vocal I refuse to let you stay on my back any longer. You have cost me time from my calling from finding my wife and just living a healthy lifestyle. I hate everything about you and what you represent. What you have done to me and against me so I’m done where through signing the divorce papers leave me alone I won’t answer your calls anymore.
Sincerely a transformed mind,
Letter from my sex addict:
You talk this game but your not going anywhere. We have history I’ve been with you since childhood. You love how it feels you need to touch yourself you need to feel good. You need me, and you run but as soon as Im ready you give in. Your not free your just a sad little boy and you don’t have control, so stop believing your own bs and just give up. It’s fun and do whatever makes you feel good. Life’s too hard and you work too hard. So see you later buddy!