Letter to myself:

Why are you ruining my life? You have haunted me, my family and my closest friends for years and you just won’t go away! You have deceived me numerous times and I believed you. I believed you would satisfy me. I believed you would show me what true sex and love was. But you lied and you kept me hanging onto that lie. I fear that you will never go away and I fear the outcome of this letter and this 30 day journey because I don’t know if this will work. I have feared your power. Thinking that you are more powerful than God but not anymore. I have feared letting you go because I never thought I could and I would feel lost and unsatisfied and discontent but not anymore. I want to change this up a lot on you. I want to have a new mindset on life. I want to believe that God is bigger and more powerful than you. Your silly temptations are nothing compared to the cross and I want to believe that. I want to believe that I have more value than what you have shown and given to me. I want to love and respect my body and the Holy Spirit and Jesus that lives in me. I want to be confident in myself again because you took that away from me, all these years. I want to believe that sin has no victory in my life and I want to make sure it doesn’t! I want to believe that Jesus is truly my savior and God has used this group to show me that. I want to learn what sex truly is and believe that it is beautiful and made for a reason, season and a purpose. I want to see sex for what it is and seek Jesus as the ultimate satisfaction for my life and not feelings from sex or porn or masturbation. I don’t want to believe you anymore. I want freedom. I don’t want you to ruin my life or relationships anymore. I want to be made whole and have great accountability with people and great Godly conversations and I want to help people who are struggling like I am. You will no longer reign in my life because Jesus does. He has came on my behalf to rescue me. What do I have to fear? I believe that the power of Jesus Christ will break me free from you and you will no longer be in my life. See ya! Wouldn’t wanna be ya! Adios!

Letter from my sex addict:

You are SO weak! Ever since you were little I have been right there! I have been your partner in crime for many years and now you want to decide to let me go? I’d like to see you try! You can’t live without me! You just can’t! It’s impossible. God isn’t enough and he doesn’t understand the human desire for sex. You will be miserable without me and you will have to wait forever to have sex with your future husband since you are “waiting”. Who says that he will satisfy you anyway? Will he make you feel the way that I have made you feel? I bet you’ll still be longing for something more and that’s when you’ll be coming back to me. All those images you’ve seen, you’ll NEVER get it good like that. What you’ll receive will never be enough and you’ll be miserable. You’ll die in dissatisfaction without me. You fear you might die in me. Haha you probably will. When will you get it girl? There’s nothing better than me not even your God. And your God, you are really disappointing Him girl! You are not anywhere that you could be because of me you don’t listen to him, you disobey him and you aren’t bearing any fruit. You are such a sad case. Are you even sure you are a believer? You are so lukewarm. Your marriage and your future family will be messed up because of me and you allowed it to happen. Oh girl I can’t wait to see how you do without me! You are such a sad sad case! Break a leg!