Listen, I understand what it is like to be trapped by this addiction. It sucks quite frankly. I know that you have heard the verses a million times. But think about them for a change. Actually study them. You are giving lip service to God and you know that you are better than that. Open up the word. It is the “sword of the Spirit” for a reason. It can help you to fight off sin. Just like Jesus in the wilderness. He stated to Satan “For it is written….” so many times. You are engaged to be married and you do not want this to be something you bring into your union. So many divorces are caused by porn addictions. You can defeat this man. I am begging you to quit this. If not for God, if not for Ang, do it for you. I know that deep down you want this but you are scared of giving it up for some reason. You really don’t know why you are scared to give it up. You know full well what you are doing when you give in to that temptation too. Is the 2 minutes of pleasure really worth the painful conviction afterwards?
I know that you are seeking satisfaction in this and that you know true satisfaction is in the Lord. But instead of just retaining that knowledge. Try living in it! Test that satisfaction. Feel it. Rest in it. Imagine the true joy that you will feel when you give in to the Lord’s holy rest and satisfaction. Remember that you are better than sin. You have the power to choose. It has NO power. You are stronger than sin. Keep putting on that armor of God every day. I know sometimes it is hard but keep doing it. God has your back when Satan tries to sneak up on you. I love you man and I am begging you to step away from the smartphone. Away from the computer. You can do it man. I believe in you! You have the Holy Spirit on your side. Begin to immerse yourself in the word and allow to transform you. It will all come together.
Keep believing and Resisting,
Love ya man.