Letter to myself:

Hey lost princess of heaven. You are so beautiful. You don’t need to validate that by having men who don’t deserve you touch and use you in many ways they can satisfy themselves. You think you are a sadist. You think you are bisexual. You think you have a high sex drive and therefore need to sexually satisfy yourself through constant masturbation and meaningless sex with meaningless partners. You think an orgasm is the only way you feel alive. Let me tell you that these are all lies from the pit of hell and the devil is a liar! You have been deceived for so long and it is time to face the truth. You are beautiful. Your body is the temple of the Lord and must be loved and made loved to with the permission of the almighty Lord who will approve through a loving blessed marriage. Whenever you feel a tingle in your vagina,it’s your biology renewing their cells and making sure your productive system is all up and running smoothly; it is not an invitation to masturbate and touch yourself. You do not need to touch yourself. If you pray, the Holy Spirit will provide you with self control to not touch yourself. Let me tell you the truth. You do not know what real sex is. The God given sex life that God himself created is something that you have to pray and wait for God to teach you through marriage. Porn is not real sex. It’s sexual abuse and slavery devised by the devil’s cunning plan to blind and push God’s children further into darkness and deceit. But you are a child now and the truth, that is Jesus christ, and the same power that raised him from the dead, dwells inside of you. So you know you are more than a conqueror and you have already won this battle against sex addiction because Jesus Christ won it for you on the cross when he said it is finished! So daughter of Zion, arise and claim your victory now!
This is how you are going to claim your victory over sex addiction:
1. Pray diligently, everyday and everytime you feel the slightest sexual tingle, just say holy spirit give me strength and he will empower you with fresh spirit to fight.
2.stay away from temptation and sexual immorality- movies, adverts, books and even conversation, TURN IT OFF!
3. Do not be alone with a woman or man, unchaperone. STAY AWAY FROM EX LOVERS! Even those you are not attracted to. The devil is a liar and he will use every opportunity to trick and lie to you.
4. Talk to your accountability sisters and let them pray with you; let them share your struggle and burden. It would encourage you and lead you forward.

Daughter of Zion, princess of heaven, you can do this! You got this.

Letter from my sex addict:

Ha ha ha ha ha you have been having sex since you were a child, what makes you think you can just up and quit.

Don’t kid yourself. You love sex. You are sex. Remember Belle, you like to be eaten and love to eat. How much you will miss all the naughty fantasies; the feel and taste of a woman; the thrust of a man; you know nothing feels better than the high adrenaline Rush of an intense long orgasm. Or the naughty fun feeling of being punished with whips and clamps; or the adrenaline Rush of being tied up and slapped like the whore that you are. You know you can’t change. You love it too much. I will wait for you to get over your excitement of being born again in Christ, and I will be waiting for you, Belle xxx