familyWhen I envision my former porn addiction, the most accurate picture I get in my mind is that of a wrecking ball. That wrecking ball of addiction nearly demolished my family.

At the age of 26, I had reached the peak of addiction: lying, minimizing, and justifying my porn use. Meanwhile, my fiancée was paying the price; until she decided she would no longer be united with a liar anymore. One day, she slid her engagement ring across the table and told me she just couldn’t continue to live like this.

That act was a different wrecking ball; one that demolished my walls and opened my eyes to the fact that I needed help.

I want to suggest two possible realities to the way your family could look through your porn addiction:

1. Your family could be one of your greatest sources of pain and loss.

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reports that 56% of divorce cases involve one party having “an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.” We’re now getting hard numbers showing us that porn is literally wrecking families.

Reflecting back, I had to learn was that my addiction not only affected me, but it also affected everyone around me. And until I understood that, I was very unlikely to change.

Using porn has broken trust in your relationship with your wife and stolen any credibility you had with your children. Even if your kids don’t know about your addiction, they can sense your distance and how you are different.

Fortunately, there is another reality that is possible for your family…

2. Your family could be one of your greatest sources of encouragement and support.

As devastating as porn can be to a family, there’s great hope for men who are willing to change their behavior. And the same is true for their families. Healing can take place in your home if you’re willing to be honest with yourself about your addiction.

Since opening up about my struggles, getting the help I needed, and doing the work of recovery on a daily basis, I’ve found great restoration in my marriage. My wife has become one of my greatest fans in my fight for purity (Tweet This!).

Never forget how important your recovery is to your family. They need you to be a man of sexual integrity who’s willing to lead them in truth.

Perhaps you’re single or in college and have yet to start a family. Those around you are still affected by your actions. Your friends, immediate family, and even coworkers are affected by the way you live.

The time for change begins now. Your family (whomever you consider that to be) needs you NOW! You have the opportunity to leave a legacy within your family that has the potential to last for generations.

Which will you choose? Yourself or your family? It’s time to unchain the wrecking ball and start building something worthwhile.

[Editor’s note: One of the best ways you can find a “family” and community is through X3groups. Imagine meeting 5 or 10 other men with similar stories who are pursuing sexual health and wholeness! Through encouragement, support, and accountability, men are finding freedom from sex addiction every day. Click here to learn more about X3groups.]

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