I’m not sure about you, but I often struggle with the concept of expressing thankfulness in “every situation.” The Bible says this, of course (1 Thessalonians 5:18), but are we really supposed to be thankful when life seems to be kicking us in the face?
Can we really be thankful when we…
- Lose our job?
- Experience physical injury?
- Go through a divorce?
- Face family stress?
- Struggle with addiction?
And while it might seem counterintuitive or unpleasant to hear, the truth is yes… we can.
If life experience, books, and the Bible have taught me one thing, it’s this: Problems pose opportunities for growth and advancement on my journey to something better.
Put another way, the word “problem” is often just a synonym for “challenge,” and challenges are good because they strengthen us. They have the ability to shape or transform us.
I struggled with porn for over 20 years, and I’m not going to tell you that that was a good thing. My wife wouldn’t either. My porn addiction robbed me of a lot of joys in life, and it cost me a lot of wasted time, usually in front of a computer with my pants down. And I’m not going to say that God wanted me to struggle with porn because I don’t think he did.
But I will say this: It is through my struggle and consequential victory that God changed me and my marriage. It’s also what led me here to this ministry.
Honestly, without those years of struggle, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
So with that said, here are three reasons you can be thankful for your porn struggle and recovery journey:
1. Healing Deep Emotional Wounds
Embracing and acknowledging your struggle with a porn addiction can be the first step towards healing deep emotional wounds. Often (if not always), these addictive behaviors are coping mechanisms for underlying pain or trauma. By confronting the issue head-on, you open the door to self-discovery and therapeutic healing.
Your struggle can serve as a catalyst for personal growth, leading you to confront and address the emotional wounds that may have been suppressed for years. In facing these challenges, you gain the opportunity to develop resilience, self-compassion, and a greater understanding of your emotional landscape. Sometimes this may require the help of a professional therapist. But that’s not a bad thing.
2. Discovering True Identity and Worth
Your journey to overcome a porn addiction can help you discover more about who you really are and recognize your own value. As you navigate the complexities of addiction and recovery, you may find yourself questioning long-held beliefs and societal expectations. This introspection can lead to a profound understanding of your values, passions, and strengths.
Embracing your struggle can become a transformative process, allowing you to redefine your identity beyond the constraints of addiction and shame. Recognizing your inherent worth, independent of past mistakes and systems of conditional love, can be a liberating and empowering aspect of the recovery journey.
3. Healing Marriage and Experiencing True Intimacy
Despite the challenges, addiction can serve as a wake-up call for couples, urging them to confront issues and work towards genuine intimacy. Through open communication and mutual support, partners can embark on a journey of healing and growth.
Your struggle, while unpleasant, can lead you both to a deeper understanding of each other’s needs and vulnerabilities, fostering a more authentic connection. Also, overcoming your shared challenge can strengthen your bond, enabling you to build a healthier, more resilient relationship with your spouse. As trust is rebuilt, genuine intimacy can flourish, creating a foundation for a more fulfilling and connected marriage.
Listen, problems suck. And so does addiction. There’s no way around it.
It’s never fun.
It’s never pleasant.
It’s not supposed to be.
But when you face your struggle, you have a choice.
You can cry, give up, blame someone else, or wait for spiritual “delivery” because you don’t have the energy to face the problem.
Or…
You can rise to the challenge and say, “Hey, this is an opportunity for me to move forward and get better, and I’m going to take it on with everything I have!”
I’m sure for some of you (if you’ve been struggling with porn for the past five years, 10 years, 20 years or more) it may be hard to feel thankful because you see no way out. There’s no end in sight for the shame you deal with every day… always feeling like some sort of cosmic disappointment that God is going to be shaking his head at.
That’s how you feel.
That’s just not true. There is freedom. There is hope.
And rather than resenting the problem you have, be thankful for it because you can get through it. You can use that opportunity to grow, to move forward, and to become something better, something beyond what you ever imagined in the first place.
Don’t give up. Don’t lose hope.
Be thankful for your problems and get ready to take them on like the pit bull you can be.