Let’s be real; COVID-19 is changing everything in our lives right now. Cities are shut down, people are confined to their homes, and the economy is extremely volatile. We are living in unprecedented times.
The most concerning element of this pandemic is how many people are stuck at home, left to their own devices, with a lot more free time on their hands. That’s a recipe for disaster if you’re struggling with porn.
Believe it or not, the most common trigger in the men I work with is boredom.
That is wild!
It’s not the attractive people at work.
It’s not a social media feed.
It’s not disconnection at home.
There’s no doubt that boredom is at an all-time high right now, which could spell trouble for a lot of struggling men, women & youth, out there, unless they take extra precautions to stay protected.
Think about this…
Today, everyone woke up with a different amount of money in their bank account, various tasks to accomplish, and different purposes in life with a different set of family members, coworkers, and friends.
But we all started with the same amount of time. Some will use it more wisely than others.
Here are four tricks to spending your time well and combatting boredom during COVID-19.
You don’t realize how dependent you are on time structures and regularity until it’s removed. Be extra intentional with how and where you spend your time. If you don’t control your time, time will control you, and that’s how people wind up spending 5 hours of sports re-runs online before they change out of their pajamas.
Being intentional with your time doesn’t necessarily mean mapping out every single minute of the day. That approach doesn’t work for everyone. But even if your strategy is laid back, you should still divide your day into sections and assign your priorities to each.
Do not trust that things will just get done and magically fall into place. It doesn’t work. Schedule your time. Be strategic. Assess your priorities. And get yourself in an environment that will be conducive to the priorities you set.
What are your priorities in this once-in-a-lifetime season? Write them down and schedule them in.
Let Your “Yes” be “Yes”
What I’m about to share is not just a hack to fight boredom. This is a self-confidence booster too.
Do what you say you’re going to do. Period.
Whether it’s to someone else, God or yourself, say what you mean and mean what you say. If you can’t commit to something, don’t give a half-hearted yes when you know there’s no chance it’ll happen. If you don’t have enough time to complete a task, find another time to do it. Or do some of it with the time you have, and the rest of it another time.
When it comes to how you spend your time, eliminate “I’ll try” and “I’m hoping to” out of your vocabulary. Be decisive. Here’s why…
When you tell yourself that you’re finally going to tackle that project today, and then the day passes, and you don’t… you begin to lose trust in yourself. Now the next time you say you’re going to tackle that project, your mind doesn’t know if you’re serious. And that confusion steals your ability to commit and focus.
On the flip side, it is an incredible feeling when you say you’re going to do something and you do it. That kind of follow-through tells your brain that you can be trusted and that your words matter.
That is a GOOD feeling and an easy way to get your self-confidence up. And on the journey to freedom, few qualities are more valuable than confidence.
So don’t overcommit. Be realistic. And let your yes be yes, and your no be no.
Master Late Nights
PornHub, the world’s largest porn site, experiences the most traffic from 10 pm-midnight. That should tell you something. As the day goes on, people become more vulnerable to their temptations.
This kind of information can be used to your advantage. If this stat rings true in your own life, you now have a specific time slot in every day of your calendar that must be accounted for. If you apply the two tips above to the late-night part of your schedule, you will be golden.
Being aware of these dynamics is vital, and responding to them is even more critical. So do whatever you can to avoid being alone and on your devices during late-night periods.
For me, downtime kicks in on my iPhone at 10 pm every day. No notifications, no apps, nothing. My phone is not an option from 10 pm-8 am every single day. Downtime is my cue to get ready for bed, read, and go to sleep.
This allows me to end the day well, sleep soundly, and start the next day fresh—a small price to pay for being free from porn and master of my time.
People have mixed feelings about isolating. The introverts rejoice. The extroverts panic. And the ambiverts remain ever-confused.
But make no mistake, our need for quality connection is still the same. Yes, it is harder to connect without typical social structures in place. But it’s 2020. You have a phone that is seconds away from connecting to anyone in the world. There are countless ways you can engage and maintain your connections with colleagues, friends, and the like.
Yesterday, a couple of my colleagues downloaded the Phase10 app, and we played against each other over lunch. It was probably the highlight of my day (the fact that I won may or may not be related), and it hardly took any effort to coordinate.
Remember that porn is fake intimacy. When your heart lacks connection with the people in your life, it will seek out other ways to experience closeness, and that is when the mind wanders, and the heart drifts.
Think a bit outside the box to maintain your connections. Your heart will thank you for it, and the temptation to watch porn will reduce significantly.
Now is the time to try new strategies, break out of old habits, and make a positive change in your life. This moment is an opportunity. If you cease it, you can conquer anything, including the battle against boredom.
Cheering you on,
p.s. Our staff is available if you need someone to talk with or pray.
You can call our office at 626-628-3387 or email us at [email protected].
We are also marking all of our workshops down by 50% so that you can have something life-giving and beneficial to help you deal with the force of triggers and isolation that you might be facing right now. Use code COVID19 at checkout.
You are not alone, and you will be OK.
We have a God who sustains the universe, and He knows what you need. Now is the time more than ever to seek Him.
We are here to help support you in any way possible.