If one is to be completely honest, we must recognize the fact that recovery from any sort of compulsive and unwanted behaviors involves a certain level of frustration. This is because the journey to real freedom is rarely a straight line. You may start with excitement and strong determination, but inevitably you will experience some setbacks, plateaus, or moments where progress practically feels invisible.
So then the question is, how do we stay vigilant, motivated, and even inspired to keep going despite slip-ups, relapses, or disappointments?
Well, if your focus is solely on results, such as hitting a milestone of “X days clean,” it can set you up for continual discouragement. Why? Because results are simply snapshots in time, and if the picture doesn’t match your expectations, you may end up feeling like a failure.
Growth, however, occurs on a continuum. It’s an ongoing process of learning, adjusting, and becoming healthier over time. Therefore, even when there are setbacks, you can still move forward by recognizing small, incremental signs of progress. Consequently, this shift in focus from a destination mindset to a growth mindset creates a foundation for lasting change.
But again, keeping one’s focus on “growth” can still be challenging when setbacks occur. As such, here are four ways to remain focused on growth, even when the road feels long.
- Measure Progress in Patterns, Not Perfection
When recovery is judged by perfection (i.e., never slipping, never feeling tempted, never looking too long at the barista in tight yoga pants) you set an impossible standard. The reality is, temptation doesn’t vanish overnight, and mistakes don’t erase the progress you’ve made.
Instead, start measuring your progress by looking at patterns of behavior over time. This means asking yourself:
- Are my slips happening less often than before?
- Am I recognizing triggers sooner?
- Am I reaching out for help instead of hiding?
This way, even when you stumble, there is comfort to be found in the fact that you are catching yourself earlier, recovering faster, and avoiding deeper spirals. These patterns reflect growth.
Think of it like learning a new language. At first, you might forget words constantly. Over time, you still make mistakes. But eventually you’ll start to speak more fluently, with fewer pauses. In this way, recovery works very similarly. Because when you track your trajectory rather than one moment in time, you’ll see how far you’ve come.
- Anchor Yourself in Daily Practices, Not Just Milestones
Many people in recovery focus on “big” milestones such as going 30 days, 90 days, or even one year clean. And while those markers can be encouraging, they can also create a cliff effect because once you hit the goal, you might relax your guard. Or, if you miss it, you may spiral into a black hole of shame.
A better approach is to anchor yourself in daily practices that feed growth. Such practices might include:
- Morning reflections, meditation, or prayer
- Journaling about triggers and victories
- Attending a support group or therapy session
- Doing one thing each day that builds healthy connection
This way your recovery is tied to what you practice rather than just what you achieve so your growth continues regardless of the calendar date. As a result, even rough days can still be considered “wins” if you showed up for your daily practices.
- Learn to View Setbacks as Training, Not Failure
Real talk? Setbacks hurt. They can trigger guilt, shame, and that nagging voice that says, “You’ll never change.” But if you see a setback as a total failure, you’ll miss the opportunity it carries.
This is because every stumble holds valuable information:
- What were you feeling or believing right before it happened?
- What did you not do that might have helped?
- How can you adjust your environment, schedule, or support to prevent it in the future?
By treating setbacks as training sessions instead of verdicts, you stay in a growth mindset. You learn from the data, apply it, and move forward, often with more insight than before. One thing you can do to optimize this learning practice is writing down what you learned from each slip in a journal. Over time, you’ll create a personal “recovery playbook” that helps you navigate the situations that used to derail you.
- Celebrate the Small Wins Relentlessly
This one might sound self-gratifying, but it’s important.
Recognize that early in recovery, you might think, “I’ll celebrate when I’m 100% free.” But if you wait for that perfect moment, you’ll likely miss dozens of victories along the way. Victories, that if you take some time to recognize and celebrate, can actually fuel your progress.
Small wins could be:
- Choosing to call an accountability partner instead of isolating
- Logging into a support meeting when you didn’t feel like it
- Saying “no” to a trigger, even if only once that day
- Feeling an urge pass without acting on it
While these little victories may sound trivial, they help foster growth and change. This is because the brain learns and responds to patterns and positive reinforcement. When you celebrate these small moments, you strengthen the neural pathways that make those healthy choices more natural next time.
Ultimately, recovery isn’t about crossing a finish line.
It’s about becoming a person who lives with greater freedom, mental integrity, and emotional health. That kind of growth doesn’t happen in one leap; it happens in thousands of small steps, often with a few stumbles in between.
When you focus only on results, you risk discouragement and burnout. But when you keep your eyes on growth by measuring patterns over time, grounding yourself in daily practices, seeing setbacks as learning opportunities, and celebrating small wins, you build a recovery plan that lasts.
Because in the end, you are not aiming for perfection. You are aiming for progress. And progress, even slow progress, is still movement forward.
Stay patient. Stay persistent. And keep going. You’re growing more than you think.