Why Sex is a Spiritual Experience-blogpost“Sex is the closest that many people will ever come to a spiritual experience. Indeed, it is because it is a spiritual experience of sorts that so many chase after it with a repetitive, desperate kind of abandon. Often, whether they know it or not, they are searching for God.”—M. Scott Peck

A Scripture that I have quoted many times over the years is I Corinthians 6:16-20, the Message version:

“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, ‘The two become one.’ Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never ‘become one.’

There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for ‘becoming one’ with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit?

Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.”

Sex is not just about two (or more) bodies getting a sexual release from/with one another. (Read my last post on how 50 Shades of Grey relates to the body.)

Sex brings about spiritual mysteries as well as physical facts.

And when sex avoids commitment and intimacy, it tends to leave us lonely. (Tweet This!)

It keeps us from fully knowing what “becoming one” is really all about.

That’s not what the world says. Of course not.

That is what the Bible says, though.

Maybe I missed it in the middle of skimming articles about 50 Shades of Grey, but I don’t recall a Bible being inside of Christian Grey’s Red Room (or outside of it, for that matter). However, there’s no way I can address this topic without talking about the spiritual side of it. Or the lack thereof.

I find it quite poetic that the leading male character’s name is “Christian Grey” and that one of the quotes used in the trailer is “Love is not black and white.”

Um, yes it is. Biblically speaking, anyway.

I Corinthians 13:4-8, the Love Chapter, tells us exact what and how love is. Kind is the second adjective. Some definitions of kind are gentle, considerate and tender. How many people are able to say that their relationship is filled to the brim with kindness—both in and out of the bedroom.

I John 1:5 tells us exactly how God is as well: “God is light and in Him is no darkness at all.”

He’s crystal clear. There’s no darkness, no “shadiness.”

And yet, aren’t a lot of us like Christian Grey? One way or another? (Tweet This!)

Christians, yet “grey” on so many issues that we shouldn’t be?

There are going to be a lot (and I mean, a lot) of people who will be flocking to see 50 Shades. Personally, I can’t help but wonder what they’ll be looking for on the screen. You can just peep the trailer and know that Mr. Grey has some, let’s just say “deep issues.” And as I said in the previous installment, I find it pretty tragic that Anastasia gives him her virginity. More than anything because of what the Bible says about the purpose of sex (celebrating the love between a husband and wife) and how we are to see our bodies (sacred).

I get that many individuals will simply say, “Shellie, what’s the big deal? It’s just a movie.” But I don’t know. Is it? When you think of the fact that we are not only physical beings, but spiritual ones too and you look at the word “spirit” from the angle of being our “life,” our “essence,” and our “nature,” then when we decide to invest our money and two hours (give or take) of our time to watch the R-rated version of BDSM porn, what good is that doing for our life, our essence and our very nature? How is it helping us spiritually? And if spiritually it’s not good, what is it ultimately doing for/to us sexually?

For the married people who may get down like that: am I saying it’s wrong?

Eh. Life has taught me that you can get to the bottom line of a lot of things in life if you’re honest about your motives (Proverbs 17:20, 21:2,8-Message). Only you know what those are.

But what I am saying is that John 4:24 tells us that “God is Spirit” and so there’s no way that he was going to invent something like sex and want it to be void of spirituality. Therefore whatever we decide to do with our mates – our lives and their lives, our essence and their essence, our nature and their nature – should ever remain on the forefront of our minds.

Based on what I’ve read and researched about 50 Shades of Grey, spirituality in the story is an afterthought at best. But again, if y’all have some other perspectives, I’d certainly like to hear them.

In the meantime, you know, I have always liked M. Scott Peck’s quote on sex. That in his mind, sex is the epitome of a spiritual experience while at the same time, a lot of people do not realize that chasing after sex is really about longing to be in a closer relationship with the Creator of it.

Hmph. Based on the numbers that 50 Shades is projected to have its opening weekend, perhaps that’s the silver lining to all of this. It shows those of us devote our lives to working in the field of helping people with sexual challenges/struggles/strongholds that we really are on to something. That millions and millions of people need to be reminded of the fact that they don’t have to chase after erotica or porn or sexual fetishes to make themselves feel complete.

They just need to put the Spirit and their spirit first; everything else will work itself out.

For their good. The good of their mind, body and spirit.

Yes, in and out of the bedroom.

That kind of truth really is black and white.

No grey.


Check out the this episode of Craig’s Car Ride when Craig speak to Shellie in depth about her thoughts and views regarding the book and movie 50 Shades of Grey.

Best Sex 


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