One of the best parts about living in the Northeastern United States is experiencing the changing seasons. Fall is particularly unique, as the temperatures cool and the leaves change from summer green to brilliant Autumn colors (varying hues of orange, yellow and red), and fall to the ground in bunches. By Halloween, the trees are nearly bare, and you can feel the leaves crunch underneath your feet when you walk through the woods.
As the seasons change, so does the way I dress. As the temperatures start to dip, I trade in bathing suits and tee-shirts for long pants and sweatshirts (at least I do, but my wife says I run cold!) Likewise, in our recovery journeys, we need to be aware of how changing seasons affect what we need to be successful and experience growth. Just like you would not wear a heavy winter coat on a 95-degree day in July, or lather on sunscreen when you are trapped inside during a blizzard, we must be aware of what we need during each season of our lives and in each situation.
For each of us, there are many significant life events that can signal a change in season – marriage/divorce, the birth of a child, death of a loved one, moving, a new job or career change, or a health crisis. Each of these may bring new blessings and challenges that we need to account for. It’s important that as season’s change (which they inevitably will), we reflect on how we can adapt to our new situation. It’s essential to revisit our recovery plan and self-reflect on what our new needs may be.
For example, when it comes to my own recovery some of my needs, strategies and mindsets have changed from when I was single five years ago to now being married with a wife and child. When I was only responsible for myself, I was admittedly more focused on recovery for reasons that had to do with me. However, now I know that my choices and decisions impact not only me, but also my family. This has been a great source of motivation for me as I seek to establish a new way of life.
Likewise, now that I am married my wife can provide extra support and the physical intimacy I was missing when I was single. In my bachelor day’s I relied more on exercise as an outlet when I felt tempted (maybe that’s why I was in better shape back then!) I also have far less free time, now that I have a one year old to chase after, whereas when I was single, I had to plan out my time more intentionally because I had more idle time on my hands. As times have changed, so has my thinking and some of my recovery strategies and needs.
This process of adapting to change requires not only self-reflection but also wisdom. It may require working with a therapist, getting help from a support group, spouse/significant other, or accountability partner. Our relationship with our creator can also provide a great deal of wisdom. One Bible verse puts it this way, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5 NIV). I encourage you to go to God, who is more than glad to give us the wisdom we need in each situation.
As the calendar turns to fall and the new school year begins and the weather starts to cool – keep in mind that we can change with the seasons – in our lives and our recovery journeys.