As a part of my recovery over the past 2.5 years I have had to face many difficult things; a divorce and miracle of reconciliation which could have only been done by God; the loss of a company and the financial struggles which this addiction seems to do to everyone involved; but the most difficult thing for me has been to face my fears and face people who I have harmed.
One of those people were my mother and father-in-law. I had dragged their daughter through hell and satan told me they would never forgive me. They did, they were amazing…chalk another victory up to God and may God bless these two amazing people. Life is so incredible having them back in my life…I have missed them so very much.
But the most difficult person I had to face I was not sure I could do and if I could muster up the courage…would this person be open to any conversation…all I could do was ask God, but I kept hearing this ‘voice’ telling me it was going to be awful…this person not only would not meet me but might actually want to harm me…but God had placed it on my heart and I had to do something, so I wrote this person a letter.
I told this person I was sorry, that even as I wrote the words they were insignificant, worthless they seemed to me, but they were all I had and that I wanted to meet this person, in person, so I could apologize as I felt God had instructed me in the Bible to do.
To my amazement I received a letter back…a letter which said this person was out of town and when this person returned theay wanted to talk to me…God is great, God is simply amazing.
You see this ‘person’ was the man who’s wife (now ex-wife) I had an affair with during my addiction…this was a man who was now divorced because of my actions. This was a man who I had taken something from, broken one of God’s 10 commandments…This is a man who should not have even given me the time of day, who should have wanted to harm me and instead, in his response to me, had said “this letter must have been very hard for you to write”…worried about how hard this was for me…how humbled I was…
I met this man this past week face to face…we talked for two hours, I got to say I was sorry in person…and in the end this man of God said…”I forgive you”. As I write these words I am in tears…
I am so amazed and I feel that such a huge weight has been lifted from me. satan told me he would never forgive me…but God had gone before me and prepared the way. This amazing man, when he had so much hate in his heart for me had asked God years ago to help him and God had told him to pray for me…I had broken up his marriage and he had prayed for me…I was so humbled…so in awe of God…what an incredible example of the power of God in a man.
Who is in your life who you need to apologize to? What is satan telling you? Are you scared? Ask God..seek Him and go apologize….The Truth will…WILL…set you free.
To this man who forgave me…Thank you, thank you so very much for your kindness, your prayers for me and for being such an incredible example of God’s love…thank you so very much…This man glorified God in his actions…
“Let your light shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven” (Matthew 5:16).
“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27).
Do not be afraid….Thank you God for preparing the way…