We live in such a fast paced society with little to no time for reflection and meditation. For some, it’s a defense mechanism to avoid introspection. Limited self-awareness, repeating maladaptive behaviors and patterns, staying stuck, unresolved issues, poor decision making, and lack of growth and healing are just a few ramifications. It is essential to be intentional about renewing ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The practice of reflection can rupture the cycle of default living.
January is a great opportunity for reflection, taking inventory and creating new goals/intentions. It signifies: a new year, a fresh start, a clean slate, a new season, a blank page, a white canvas, and a new beginning. The process of recovery can potentially be filled with lapses and relapses. So the idea of a new beginning can be very refreshing and hopeful.
Consider examining the past year of recovery:
- What has brought you the greatest sorrow?
- What has brought you the greatest joy?
- What did you learn about yourself?
- What did you learn about God?
- Are you in a better place today than 6 months ago?
- Are you having more victories than defeat?
- What persistent problems, tensions or struggles did you experience? What had a significant impact on you and your recovery process?
- Where did you fall short?
- What can you take from the past year and use to make this year better? What have you gained by being a part of a group?
If you haven’t joined a group, I highly recommend it. Sadly, we live in a culture that values self determination, self-reliance, independence and individualism. And yet we are wired for connection–to truly be seen, loved, known and accepted. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it’s connection. And the success of recovery and healing only happens in relationships. You can build a fresh foundation that ensures you are not walking this journey of recovery alone.
Maybe the idea of joining a group is terrifying. You can join our online community where you can stay engaged, find support and be motivated with daily check-ins and accountability. You can use the app to stay connected and keep your recovery on track.
As you take inventory of this past year and consider goals/intentions for the new year, identify where you are in the process. A common tool in the field of addiction is the Stages of Change model:
- Precontemplation: not thinking of changing anytime in the next 6 months
- Resistant to change
- Most will stay in this stage without help and input from others
- It is safe and familiar
- The addiction can be pleasurable, rewarding and perceived as not doing harm to self or others
- Contemplation: thinking of changing sometime in the next 6 months
- There is a desire to change met with ambivalence
- The fear of the unknown future outweighs the belief that one would be better off if s/he changed
- The comfort of familiarity outweighs the potential of a new and improved self
- Preparation: planning on making a change in the next month, but still somewhat ambivalent; it is vital to be prepared prior to taking action
- Commitment as evidenced by eliminating any lingering ambivalence is the most important aspect
- Consistently taking inventory of self and the addiction is met with increased confidence to make a change
- Potential benefits of the future outweighs regret of past maladaptive behavior
- Action: modifying behavior and surroundings
- Purposeful modifications to alter behavior
- Action is followed by a commitment to change
- Maintenance: working to keep gains made during the action stage which can last from 6 months to a lifetime
- It is challenging to maintain new behaviors
- Success is measured by years and decades vs days and months
- Active, sustained and long term effort toward a revised lifestyle
- Being able to distinguish between long term abstinence and not desiring to do the behaviors
- Acknowledgment of the vulnerability to relapse
It can be very easy to get overwhelmed and quit when we try to do all the things all at once. So start with small, achievable goals/intentions which can be very empowering and build momentum.
In the world of sports, there is an offensive strategy and a defensive strategy. Offensive strategy: What routine could I start doing today that would improve my life most? Defensive strategy: What is on my absolute no list?
In the game of football, there are 4 quarters. So even if you are down in the 1st quarter, it doesn’t mean you are out for the rest of the game. That’s the shame talking. The truth is, grace, unconditional love and restoration are always available from our Father. So get back in the game!